The RollOnFriday Firm of the Year survey ends on Monday, but there are several firms which won't qualify unless they attract a few more responses. The bosses at several of them will be praying they don't, because so far staff have not been gentle.
At Bevan Brittan, a senior solicitor called the pay "Shitty shit shit, oh and did I mention shit?" Staying on-topic, she said there was a sewage overspill in the London office, but staff weren't allowed to leave their internet-enabled cesspit until 6.30pm: "how decent of them".
Depressing news from a lawyer at Capsticks, who says the firm "wants to be DAC Beachcroft", but "will never get there". A colleague said the firm talks about being an investor in people, "but the main investment seems to be stocks of P45s".
A junior lawyer at Dechert would recommend the firm "if it is your only option". Turnover was "high" and there was "poisonous infighting". A colleague said there were "zero prospects of partnership, unless you come in as a lateral hire". At fellow US firm Skadden Arps, a junior said, "let's be honest, the pay is the only reason anyone works here", but "I never quite appreciated how it's possible to work such long hours or be subject to such a dire working culture". He is "constantly on call", to the extent that staff "are one step off being branded with 'property of Skadden Arps'".
Listed firm Gateley is "utterly dreadful", according to a senior solicitor. "Pre-float it was good", but now career development "means buying shares from the ex-equity partners".
A Shakespeare Martineau non-fee-earner complained that he has been "stuck on 16k" for years, but "whenever I bring it up I'm always fobbed off". Support staff "are treated like robots", he said, "rather than living, breathing, feeling human beings that have lives outside of the hell that is Shakespeares". A senior solicitor said Shaken Martini was "not exactly setting the world alight", thanks to the "almost total failure" to integrate staff from legacy firms, including pay which was "all over the place". He said that "nobody" buys into the attempt to rally staff around the "vomit-inducing" slogan, "Spirit, Talent, Enterprise".
At Weightmans,"the people are all mostly good eggs", said a junior lawyer, but "due to some design fault with the building in Liverpool, whenever the tide is in the bogs smell like a dead rhino". The water also "laps against the side of the bowl, giving you the impression something is about to run up the drain". And it is "like an industrial freezer", so "you need to be quick to prevent the turd the size of a Pringles can you just pushed out from freezing half in and out of the water like a flag pole!!" Indeed!
As well as those firms featured in this story, here's a list of others which could do with a few more entries:
Addleshaw Goddard
Clifford Chance
DAC Beachcroft
Freshfields
Gowling WLG
Herbert Smith Freehills
Howard Kennedy
Jones Day
K & L Gates
Kennedys
Latham & Watkins
Mishcon de Reya
Pennington Manches
Pinsent Masons
PWC
Sidley Austin
Slater & Gordon
Stewarts Law
Sullivan & Cromwell
Talyor Wessing
Walker Morris
Withers
If you have not forced your colleagues to rate the firm, do it now, inbetween using meetings to bring the survey to the attention of lawyers on the other side. Take part here.
Tip Off ROF
At Bevan Brittan, a senior solicitor called the pay "Shitty shit shit, oh and did I mention shit?" Staying on-topic, she said there was a sewage overspill in the London office, but staff weren't allowed to leave their internet-enabled cesspit until 6.30pm: "how decent of them".
Depressing news from a lawyer at Capsticks, who says the firm "wants to be DAC Beachcroft", but "will never get there". A colleague said the firm talks about being an investor in people, "but the main investment seems to be stocks of P45s".
A junior lawyer at Dechert would recommend the firm "if it is your only option". Turnover was "high" and there was "poisonous infighting". A colleague said there were "zero prospects of partnership, unless you come in as a lateral hire". At fellow US firm Skadden Arps, a junior said, "let's be honest, the pay is the only reason anyone works here", but "I never quite appreciated how it's possible to work such long hours or be subject to such a dire working culture". He is "constantly on call", to the extent that staff "are one step off being branded with 'property of Skadden Arps'".
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At least they got to choose their own font. |
Listed firm Gateley is "utterly dreadful", according to a senior solicitor. "Pre-float it was good", but now career development "means buying shares from the ex-equity partners".
A Shakespeare Martineau non-fee-earner complained that he has been "stuck on 16k" for years, but "whenever I bring it up I'm always fobbed off". Support staff "are treated like robots", he said, "rather than living, breathing, feeling human beings that have lives outside of the hell that is Shakespeares". A senior solicitor said Shaken Martini was "not exactly setting the world alight", thanks to the "almost total failure" to integrate staff from legacy firms, including pay which was "all over the place". He said that "nobody" buys into the attempt to rally staff around the "vomit-inducing" slogan, "Spirit, Talent, Enterprise".
At Weightmans,"the people are all mostly good eggs", said a junior lawyer, but "due to some design fault with the building in Liverpool, whenever the tide is in the bogs smell like a dead rhino". The water also "laps against the side of the bowl, giving you the impression something is about to run up the drain". And it is "like an industrial freezer", so "you need to be quick to prevent the turd the size of a Pringles can you just pushed out from freezing half in and out of the water like a flag pole!!" Indeed!
As well as those firms featured in this story, here's a list of others which could do with a few more entries:
Addleshaw Goddard
Clifford Chance
DAC Beachcroft
Freshfields
Gowling WLG
Herbert Smith Freehills
Howard Kennedy
Jones Day
K & L Gates
Kennedys
Latham & Watkins
Mishcon de Reya
Pennington Manches
Pinsent Masons
PWC
Sidley Austin
Slater & Gordon
Stewarts Law
Sullivan & Cromwell
Talyor Wessing
Walker Morris
Withers
If you have not forced your colleagues to rate the firm, do it now, inbetween using meetings to bring the survey to the attention of lawyers on the other side. Take part here.
Comments
Really? That's like wanting to be Peter Criss in Kiss (instead of Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley or Ace Frehley), or wanting to be one of the two in East 17 who isn't Brian Harvey or Tony Mortimer, or wanting to be DeForrest Kelley instead of William Shatner or Leonard Nimoy.
Hmmm.... my references are dating me, clearly.
Let's try a more up to date one.
It's like, given the choice between wanting to be Taylor Swift or Katy Perry, picking Katy Perry.
For gods sake, where's your self-respect?
Jesus wept. No lunch required today after reading that...
This will be an interesting survey!!!
All your Plexus are belong to us now.
because Shakespeares are so vendicitve I would be scared of the response. As employee from legacy firm I am waiting for the day they offer me redundancy. If not I'll go anyway. Cannot Imagine how they could treat staff at all levels any worse.