Well over a thousand lawyers have already completed the RollOnFriday Firm of the Year 2014 survey (if you haven't, please do), and inbetween the reams and reams of praise there are a few grumbles too.

The terrifying Golden Turd will almost certainly not go to Linklaters, though one junior associate does complain that "all my mates have gone to US firms and laugh at me for not having done the same". Shakespeares is probably also safe, though it is in the running for Worst Morale Booster thanks to the posters it put up round the office, which apparently suggested its lawyers should "Be More Wow".

Last year's Firm of the Year winner comes in for criticism, too. A Latham & Watkins senior associate writes, "in the event that I am taken hostage and tortured, I think I'd survive well", thanks to "living in an office in which I can't turn the lights off, sitting in a stress position and not being able to sleep for literally days on end".

  Sounds like someone needs to Be More Wow

Over at Trowers & Hamlins, one lawyer reports that people "seem to attempt to write their names in urine on the toilet floors". It is not clear whether the art of wee-writing is being practised in the gents or the ladies, but the Golden Turd won't care.

Finally, many more responses are needed from Hogan Lovells. The few received so far have already yielded invaluable intel: one lawyer points out, only a little too late, that if the partners had only plumped for Lovells Hartson instead of Hogan Lovells, everyone would have "avoided this HogLove nonsense and made us LoveHearts instead".

There is still time to push your firm towards the flaxen poo, or away to safety. Do your bit.

he survey for in-house lawyers is also open.
Tip Off ROF