As the RollOnFriday Firm of the Year 2018 draws to a close, take a glass of Vino Collapso and recognise the most valuable contributions to legal knowledge made by the survey's 5,000+ respondents.

Reckoning Dodged Award

"The use of open plan offices means that the risk of being Weinsteined is practically zero" - Addleshaw Goddard

Reckoning Ahoy Award
"The Singapore female associates are maintaining a private list of everyone who has ever allegedly sexually harassed a female associate in the office" - Allen & Overy

The Tesco Value Range Trophy
"Unfathomably hilarious decision to make 'clients' feel valued by renaming them 'customers'" - BLM

Best Bonus
"They told us a pest control problem wasn’t a hazard to health despite the mice leaving droppings in people's drawers" - BLM

Rubbernecker Award
"I slow down for car crashes so this place is just superb" - BLM

Queer Eye Award

"For God's sake, the Managing Partner should not be wearing short sleeve shirts, he's not in Lower Sixth any more" - BLM

The Donald J Trump Moscow Mattress Memorial Prize
"A partner was seen and heard following a secretary into the ladies at a social event saying she would be sacked unless he could see her 'golden streams'" -  Baker McKenzie

All Figured Out Award
"An easy ride in the Midlands, I can pass my time doing poor quality work and being excused from having any ambition" - Browne Jacobson

Slipping Standards Award
"Working from home is allowed on Saturdays and Sundays" - Clifford Chance

Brexit Now Award
"A free staff fruit bowl is available in the Brussels office, but not in London." - Slaughter and May

Best Award
"If I was in facilities, I'd probably have taken down the 'Best Office 1995' plaque in the lobby a good while ago" - Dentons

Worst Secretaries – Runner Up
"Everyone has a virtual secretary that can respond to your query within six hours" - PwC

Worst Secretaries - Winner
"We cry at our desks, some throw up all shift" - DWF

The Monarchist Award
"People presume that the firm is snooty but it couldn't be more the reverse"
- Farrer & Co

The Republican Award
"Self righteous twats thinking they are better than anyone else because they get to send the Queen a Christmas card." - Farrer & Co

Geronimoooo Award
"I now realize why the windows don't open." - Fladgate

Spud’s Jobseekers Award
"Nothing could possibly make me stay beyond my continuing failure to be hired by somebody else" - Gordon Dadds 



Rear Window Award
"From my office window, I can see and take pity on the poor lost souls at Irwin Mitchell traipsing around with their little plastic boxes of possessions trying to find a desk to do their hot-desking thing in their open-plan office. Their productivity must be terrible. So it is with some dismay that I admit that we are trialling something similar here. Christ." - Hogan Lovells

Best Briefing
"The managing partner once did a presentation for associates branding those who leak to rollonfriday as ‘Whiners’ and with a big stop sign across the word"
- Jones Day

Best Popular Opinion
"Contrary to popular opinion we aren't all psychopathic bellends" - Kirkland & Ellis

Best Hostage
"I love the partners that I work for. They know who I am, and speak to me often. They take the time to teach me and I find them inspiring." - Macfarlanes

Best View
"It's not quite hell but you can see it from here." - Plexus

Saatchi's Best Slogan Award

"If you love sitting in silence at a desk all day, hate the company of fellow humans and want to be in a cultureless void of an organisation, SW is the place for you" - Shepherd & Wedderburn

Best Black Coffee
"The milk man stopped delivering as he hadn’t been paid for months" - Slater & Gordon
 
The Arthur Conan Doyle Prize for Detective Fiction
"The Phantom Fapper still stalks the gents toilets on the first floor. Every now and then when I go for my morning glory, I can hear the deep breaths and strained grunts coming out of the neighbouring cubicle as the lad tugs himself through the morning. It's obvious he's streaming some illicit pron when doing so, and we're working with IT to find out who's getting the lion's share of our office bandwidth" - Squire Patton Boggs

Punk Forever Award
"I like how our trainees puke at official events and punch overseas managing partners. It’s fun and keeps you on your toes." - Stephenson Harwood

Someone Tell Ashurst Award
"The firm is filling the gap in the silver circle left by KWM and Ashurst" -  Stephenson Harwood

Angriest Response to Question About Snacks
"Who cares about snacks?  Is this a survey about a law firm or what? Get serious!" - Trowers & Hamlins

Angriest Response to Question About Loos
"I can piss in them.  Get serious. The moment people start caring more about the quality of the snacks or how nice it is to take a piss – it’s not a law firm any more. Get real." -  Trowers & Hamlins

Things Are Looking Up Award
"Our canteen has improved. Only had the shits once this year." - Simmons & Simmons

Thank you for taking part. You can find all the FOTY stories here.
Tip Off ROF

Comments

Roll On Friday 23 March 18 09:00

Sigh. Slighted again.
I thought a certain comment about the joys of driving to work, against the flow of traffic, down a gloriously quiet and smooth dual carriageway, through lovely countryside, with Taylor Swift playing, would have made this list.
Thanks a lot, ROF.

Anonymous 23 March 18 11:26

One wonders why the Trowers responder joined Trowers if he is such a stickler for serious things.

Anonymous 23 March 18 11:41

I can only imagine the thrill of a conversation with the angry imp from Trowers & Hamlins.

Anonymous 23 March 18 11:43

The Arthur Conan Doyle Prize for Detective Fiction

"The Phantom Fapper still stalks the gents toilets on the first floor. Every now and then when I go for my morning glory, I can hear the deep breaths and strained grunts coming out of the neighbouring cubicle as the lad tugs himself through the morning. It's obvious he's streaming some illicit pron when doing so, and we're working with IT to find out who's getting the lion's share of our office bandwidth" - Squire Patton Boggs

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