sham nuke

Sham's hunt for LinkedIn clout ends with a bang.


A boss at the UK's Nuclear Decommissioning Authority has criticised a barrister for recommending nuking Russia.

Sham Uddin, a lawyer (and entertainer) who bills himself as the 'Bengal Tiger', announced his hawkish position on LinkedIn, where he lists his jobs as "self-employed barrister" and "full-time tiger".

"I am convinced Putin is going to go for the nuclear option", mused Uddin. "The West must launch a pre-emptive nuclear attack on Russia first. A man who does not care about his own citizens he ain’t gonna care about the citizens of rest of the world".

"If I was in charge I would launch a pre-emptive nuclear attack on Russia tonight", declared Uddin, who advertises himself as a mediator on the networking platform.


sham uddin nukes


Uddin, who is not in charge, received little support for his alpha stance.

"Mutually assured destruction it is then", said one poster.

"Blimey….A pre-emptive nuclear strike on Russia from the UK would mean that our missiles would hit about 10 minutes after theirs against us launched...Not the best idea I have ever heard", said another.

"The only place in the United Kingdom I do not think that Putin will attack is Scotland", advised Uddin. "So if you want to feel safe in the next 14 days I suggest you take a holiday there".

Except, suggested a commenter, "Scotland would be one of the first places he would hit with the Faslane nuclear submarine base there".

Uddin was unswayed, and dismissed critics who suggested his plan was likely to trigger retaliatory nuclear attacks, a nuclear winter, and the end of civilisation.

"Not all humankind will be destroyed and the planet will remain intact", the barrister reassured his followers. "But we cannot allow a man with a nuclear weapon to terrorise the world. We are all going to die one day it’s better to die fighting for just cause then to die in the hands of a coward and a terrorist".

"Have you stopped your medication or something?", said a LinkedIn user. Another person said Uddin would "have to change your name to Dr. Strangelove. MAD".

The experts didn't back him, either. "If your solution is to go straight to nuclear, thankfully you aren’t in charge", said Lee Anderson, head of compliance at the UK's Nuclear Decommissioning Authority.

"It is a truly terrible option with no positive outcomes”, said Anderson. 

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Comments

Boston PI Lawyer 04 March 22 00:15

Well at least he gots lots of like and a bonus he did not post a survey about whether you plan to get to the office, work from home, or split time. 

Anonymous 04 March 22 07:10

This is very selfish advice. I, a weak beta cuck male, would be enslaved by irradiated mutos straight away, whereas the post-apocalyptic wasteland would be the perfect environment for the Bengal Tiger to become a leader of men.

Anonymous 04 March 22 09:18

Always great to see lawyers with zero military background offer advice on an area in which they have no experience. 

Anonymous 04 March 22 10:35

“Always great to see lawyers with zero military background offer advice on an area in which they have no experience”

That’s what we do best, Anonymous 9:18. 

Anonymous 04 March 22 11:26

He's right to some degree. Kennedy did this and the USSR backed down and pulled its missiles out of Cuba. 

To have nukes and then advertise the idea that you're very reluctant to use them is no different from not having any nukes. Putin knows this and that's why he invaded. 

Lydia 04 March 22 13:32

Not wise, but he is entitled to his freedom of speech. Also some religions - end of the world is night etc - would argue what happens after death is much more important than life here so it is not as simple as life and death for many religious people on the planet.

Anonymous 04 March 22 14:25

How can the government spend billions of pounds on renewing Trident whilst claiming it never intends to use them?? What an astounding waste of taxpayers' money!  Come on, Boris, light the fuses and give those Russki bastards a fireworks display they'll never forget!!!

Anonymous 04 March 22 15:14

"If I was in charge I would launch a pre-emptive nuclear attack on Russia tonight"

Strong. Where can we find a copy of this mad-lad's full manifesto?

Anon 04 March 22 16:35

I have Uddin blocked on LinkedIn because he's so cringy and strange.

 

I remember one particularly awkward photo of him with his arms around two women at a work event. He also accompanies his posts with a picture of his face which is also very strange.

Anonymous 04 March 22 21:30

@Anonymous 04 March 22 14:25

Madeleine Albright took the opposite approach in her quote "What's the point of having this superb military you're always talking about if we can't use it?". So a little later of non-action, Mladic et al went to Srebrenica. 

What we can learn from history, is that those who should have learned, never do.

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