To the surprise and delight of onlookers, Tom Cruise ambled into barristers' chambers One Crown Office Row on Friday.

The last thing evil computer experts see

He was snapped by clerk John Mclaren, who did not use facial recognition technology or sucker pads up the side of the building to capture the star on camera.


Cruise gets a lot of flak for testing Oprah's sofa springs and possibly using scientology slaves to wax his motorbike for free, but it's unwarranted. In the first instance, his wife auditions had just been satisfactorily completed, and in the second, most people would happily buff Tom's spokes for free. He's Tom. Cruise. Doing his chores and maybe being allowed to make eye contact with him when he brings out some refreshing lemonade and a flannel so you can towel off the sweat at his sun-dappled Telluride ranch while Playing With The Boys blasts out on repeat doesn't mean you're a Xenu-blinded drone, it means you're human. 

Also he's famously great with fans. Look at him with these guys.

Look at that dazzle! And he's a true movie star. No-one invests as much effort in putting energy on the screen as Cruise. He's run in 75% of his films. So, easy jokes aside, I'm very jealous to have missed his visit. It's unclear whether he was scouting for locations for Mission Impossible 5, currently filming in London, or looking for his own Alamuddin. If it's the former, Tom, please be aware that RoF Towers already looks like it's been blown up, so would be an ideal set for the movie. And if it's the latter, I love volcano gods and can get a divorce.