A law firm's website has been improved immeasurably by an instruction to buy valium.
Linkworths, a Stoke Newington high street firm, appears to have been infiltrated by a shifty online chemist. But rather than standing out, the summons to guzzle drugs makes perfect sense. Most people instructing lawyers, especially lawyers on Stoke Newington High Street, which is still a bit rough compared to Church Street where you've got the Whole Foods, will be stressed - stressed enough that that they should absolutely also be in the market for a decent anticonvulsant. And now they can get one, or even dozens, courtesy of Linkworths, tagline unknown, and PharmaHub24, tagline "Prevention is better than cure".
Pharmahub24 has turned Linkworths into a regular dispensary. Elsewhere the firm now states that its staff can "work effortlessly buy klonopin online for lucrative commercial businesses".
At first glance it looks like a hack, but this could just as well be a mutually beneficial partnership. After all, it is impossible to work 'effortlessly' unless you are pinged out of your socks. Rolling balls so big you don't feel exhaustion. So spangled, so over the rainbow that you actually feel like you're, like, actually Linklaters.
Promoting the consumption of massive doses of benzodiazepine may appear an odd, even questionable, position for a law firm. But as an employee satisfaction strategy it is a no-brainer. Goodbye zombie workers complaining about the coffee, hello bouncy movers and shakers who occasionally experience extreme disinhibition. It also pays dividends as a client relationship plan. According to Pharmahub24, which it must be noted should not be taken at its word, klonopin gets rid of attacks of aggression. What better way to take the sting out of any invoice you send? "Steven a mint's come with the bill from Linkworths...bloody hell they'e charged far too - ...wow. Wow. Oh God. Oh God. Let me stroke your face, God I love you. I know I'm crying right now but I love our life, I love you, I love the work we do and I LOVE LINKWORTHS!"
Of course I am not recommending working in a law firm and getting bug-eyed on Klonopin. Noted side effects include drowsiness, confusion, dizziness, trembling, impaired coordination, vision problems, grogginess, feelings of depression and headaches. And the same applies to Klonopin. Boom!
Linkworths did not respond to a request for comment, too buzzed, so we don't know if this is a hacking issue or an official commercial arrangement. Either way, it's in good company. In May, the website of high-paying, hard-playing Kirkland & Ellis was injected with Viagra.