Unless you're in leather you're not credible in the niche world of motorcycle law. The lawyers of Russ Brown Motorcycle Attorneys know this. Here they are ranked in reverse order of the awesomeness of their names.


Michael Smith has the dullest name at Russ Brown Motorcycle Attorneys. But don't let his parents' conservatism and the muted palette of his leather jacket fool you. According to his profile, Michael started riding motorcycles as a young boy, "as soon as he was able to pedal-start his grandfather’s moped". Since then, motorcycles have been his "primarily (sic) vehicle, both for commuting and recreational thrill-machine use, on and off the road". Michael also has "an unhealthy attraction to barely-running two-stroke dirt bikes and enjoys wiping out all over Stonryford, Silver Lake and Georgetown OHV areas". He also plays for the San Francisco Underwater Hockey team. An oddy.


Marc Smith avoided last place because his first name is spelled 'Marc', not the more conventional 'Mark'. His leather jacket is the same design as Michael's, but shinier, which makes him look more like a real biker. He also has a rebellious stubbly facebox. According to his profile, Marc's "fascination with two–wheels was sparked by his grandfather, an avid motorcyclist, with whom he spent countless hours working on bikes". The mechanic of the team.


Jim Romag's name is so manly it is almost Jim Cro-Magnon. When he’s "not fighting for his clients, you can catch Jim enjoying one of the many twisty roads in Northern California on his 1198s Ducati". Like his colleagues, Jim is not permitted to wear colours.


Shelby's "long history with motorcycles started in Michigan as a small child when his father would put him on the handlebars of his motorcycle and ride around on open back roads". After a series of horrific injuries, "at about age 6, he graduated to a small Yamaha dirt bike, then a Honda NT650 Hawk GT at 14". Shelby wears the classic 'double rider' jacket and is the firm's go-to gel man.


Chuck Koro's name is the actual sound a motorbike makes when it's started up. He also sports the trendy and versatile 'racer' design leather jacket. Who could possibly beat him?


If the Hell's Angels don't call their hogs' gearsticks 'grindstaffs', they really should. Ashley Grindstaff’s fascination with motorcycling "started at a young age, when her grandfather would take her riding around the block on the back of his bike". Like most of the Russ Brown Motorcycle Attorneys, then, Ashley had a very involved grandfather. Wonderful stuff. Today she is a personal injury attorney with a super-stylish leather number who "identifies with the riding community and feels passionate about helping the hardest hit". Literally the hardest hit. Don't waste her time if you've been dinged by a Prius and popped over the handlebars of your Honda Dream. Grindstaff won't get out of bed for anything less that a full-skeleton crush and a totalled Harley. Her name's Grindstaff.

Thanks to the reader who alerted us to this most macho of firms.



Anonymous 29 March 17 14:10

One of them has a ZZR1400 and a beard for goodness sakes...
you wouldn't want to spill his tea...