After speaking to a spokeswoman for a firm advertising training contracts for a salary of £10,000, I received a call from someone calling herself "Jess". She said she handled reputation management on behalf of the firm. Because it was an odd call, here is the transcript (skipping introductions).

Jess: Isn't it time someone wrote a review about you?

JH: Sorry, you're suggesting that someone write a review of RollOnFriday?

Jess: No, I'm suggesting that because of your negligence and because of the inaccurate information that you are publishing it would be just for somebody to write a review about your business online.

JH [sighs]: I'm not sure what the point of this conversation is, but I mean, you can. I'd dispute that we're writing anything negligent or inaccurate.

Jess: It is inaccurate because it's a clerical error.

JH: That's what the firm's told us, but it doesn't appear to be. There are adverts that were put up in 2016 and 2015 that also advertise a £10,000 salary.

Jess: Wouldn't that suggest, then, that it's an ad that's just repeated and obviously the error is also repeated because it's just a repost of the ad. Doesn't that make sense?

JH: Not really. I'm very suspicious of the suggestion that an advert can be posted at least three years in a row containing the same error without someone at the firm realising that it's advertising an incorrect detail.

Jess: Jamie, is this your company? RollOnFriday? Or do you work for the company?

JH: I work for the company.

Jess: You work for the company. Ok, and how long have you been working there for?

JH: Four years?

Jess: Oh, ok, so you write gossip, for a living, for four years?

JH: Well, I mean-

Jess: Grand! Gosh, you're punching.

JH: Well, I was a lawyer for-

Jess [laughing]: You WERE a lawyer! Wow, what happened to that career? You went from being a solicitor to writing gossip. What happened Jamie?

JH: I left.

Jess: You left! You obviously weren't very good at it then. Ok, yeah, stick to the day job, please. You failed miserably with law. Ok, [laughing] we will be suing you.

JH: Sorry?

[Jess hangs up. JH weeps. Can he and Jess ever make it work?]


Anonymous 11 August 17 01:42

Please do go ahead and sue RoF Jess, I dare you. I double-dare you, motherf*cka!

Classic RoF, love it JH.

Anonymous 11 August 17 10:02

Jamie, I for one am extremely happy that you gave it up to write gossip. I work in the legal team of a massive organisation and my Friday mornings are greatly improved by reading the gossip.

The firms portray themselves as these shining beacons of client service and it's great to smirk at the grubby reality of it.

Anonymous 11 August 17 10:13

Alright, enough back slapping on the independently wealthy manning the RoF hotline!

How are you going to track down the feisty minx that is clearly destined to be the love of your life and free her from the influence of the SS Basi (assuming it hasn't already set sail) before storming the citadel and bringing free water to the people of the east London wastelands?

(all opinions expressed are those of S King esq and not necessarily reflective of Rollonfriday or its readership)

Anonymous 11 August 17 10:31

Jess is clearly piss poor at defending reputations. Perhaps she should think about giving up her day job.

Anonymous 11 August 17 10:40

Who's up for some pro bono support of RoF if SS Bari sue? Worth it just to meet "Jess"...

Anonymous 11 August 17 11:32

Jess has banter AIDS.

Nice to know she wouldn't disclose a surname, company name or contact details.

The type to drive past at 30mph shouting abuse out the window and keep on driving.

Anonymous 16 August 17 22:43

I think you need check the caller ID and to post some details about her company, Jamie. Let us see how well they manage their own reputation...