Charles Saatchi, adman extraordinaire: We were thinking simple but bold, Elliott.

Elliott Portnoy, Dentons CEO: Charles, that's exactly what we were thinking.

CS: Lord Saatchi to you.

EP: Isn't your brother the Lord?


EP: Sorry, Lord Saatchi.

CS: But we also thought funky and fresh.

EP: I think we're on the same page.

CS: Elliott, say hello to your new logo:

EP: Jesus almighty Christ.

CS: It's the font isn't it. Don't worry, we can change that.

EP: Is that...a vibrator?

CS: Yup. The real thing is silicone. Just chuck it in the dishwasher.
EP: l...we're a law firm Lord Saatchi.

CS: But it's top of the range.

EP: That doesn't matter. It's unacceptable.

CS: Ok, I get it. We went too funky. Too fresh. Don't panic. We worked up a more sober alternative. Watch out, because this one is classy. I'm actually glad we reached this one. I'm excited, Elliott-o. Say hello to your new logo:

EP: This is the same thing.

CS: It is not, Elliott. That's a dildo.

EP: We've paid you thousands of dollars. Do you have anything that isn't 'Dentons' slapped on a sex toy?

CS: I don't understand you, Elliott. Those are both great campaigns. I don't want to be a partypooper, but you relaunch tomorrow. You have to pick something.

EP: Is there anything else? Anything at all? Wait, what's this?

CS: It's nothing. It's the preliminary sketch.

EP: We'll take it. 

CS: You can't use that. I can't tell if it's a dildo or a vibrator. If you held a gun to my head I'd plump for...dildo. But it's hard to be certain. It could be a crayon. Is that the kind of mixed message Dentons wants to give out?

EP: Here's your money.

CS: Cheers. Bye!

EP: Can I meet Nigella?

CS: No.



Anonymous 15 March 13 04:22

Clearly the writer enjoys his sex toys , and by the cut of his jib crayons might be his preferred implememt for scrawling this crap , let me know when your next public speaking engagements is so I can book the dentist. (& no I don't work for Dentons) JMCD

Anonymous 03 April 13 13:42

Ta anonymous user 03/04/2013 12:07. You're quite right and I have made a subtle correction.

Anonymous 03 April 13 13:07

A simple but factual correction is required: Charles was the creative at Saatchis; it was his brother Maurice was made a lord;

Anonymous 28 February 18 16:08

5yrs on and it's still funny...