Rage, rage against the whining of the client.

'Absolutely sick of these imbeciles, pestering me about their stupid house purchases or imminent trials, I'm too busy for this!' Not my words, or, to be fair, the words of an employee at a well-known Hong Kong firm. But from the tenor of the email he sent a woman trying to get an update on her divorce proceedings, it sounds like he was probably thinking it.

She passed his short-tempered response to RollOnFriday, presumably so we could provide you with a useful template for replying to motivated clients:

"Dear [client]

Number One, come to speak to me directly and stop sending me emails IF you think any subject is important !

We have 3 people named Stephen…… I sit at an open desk and not in an office for the very purpose to make myself available to speak to everyone / anyone OR call me at [number].

Thank you"

The client told ROF she waited eight weeks for an update on her case, and "when I eventually wrote to the person on the retainer letter for complaints I got this". I don't know what her problem is. He says 'dear' at the start and 'thank you' at the end. What more do you want?