I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me ‘Can you give me a lift?’ I said ‘Sure, you look great, love your style, have you been working out? Believe in yourself and you can do anything.’
What do you call a three-legged donkey? A wonky donkey.
What do you call a one-eyed three-legged donkey? A winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a flatulent one-eyed three-legged donkey? A stinky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a flatulent one-eyed three-legged donkey wearing blue suede shoes? A honky tonky stinky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a flatulent one-eyed three-legged donkey wearing blue suede shoes and playing a piano? A plinky plinky honky tonky stinky winky wonky donkey.
5
1
What do you call a magician who lost their magic? Ian.
0
1
Heh.
7
0
A rabbit, an imam and a priest walk into a blood test centre
the rabbit says "i think i'm a type-O"
5
1
Archeologist were recently digging in the Pyramids of Egypt and found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.
They’ve named it pharaoh roche.
0
1
why did the scarecrow win the nobel?
5
1
Outstanding in his field?
0
0
you’re too good kaulbach
0
1
Soz. Go again.
0
0
why don’t kleptomaniacs understand puns?
5
0
I went to a meeting of hypochondriacs anonymous last night.
the first step is admitting you don't have a problem
2
0
What did the vain cheese say when it looked in the mirror?
Haloumi.
4
0
I though i had a joke about sodium but Na.
5
1
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
The flag, it's a big plus.
0
0
Chill - you us all a punchline. I don’t have a scooby-doo why kleptomaniacs don’t understand puns.
Please can you turn the lights on.
3
0
sorry kaulbach
because they’re always taking things literally
0
1
8.2/10
3
0
I had a racing snail and i removed its shell to make it faster.
It actually became quite sluggish.
2
0
I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me ‘Can you give me a lift?’ I said ‘Sure, you look great, love your style, have you been working out? Believe in yourself and you can do anything.’
3
1
Dad: "So son, what do you want to be when you grow up? A plumber, or a pizza delivery man?"
Son: "Dad, you've been watching pron again!"
2
1
Did you hear the rumour about the butter?
I couldn't spread it.
1
0
What did the leg amputee call herself? Eileen.
What do you call a three-legged donkey? A wonky donkey.
What do you call a one-eyed three-legged donkey? A winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a flatulent one-eyed three-legged donkey? A stinky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a flatulent one-eyed three-legged donkey wearing blue suede shoes? A honky tonky stinky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a flatulent one-eyed three-legged donkey wearing blue suede shoes and playing a piano? A plinky plinky honky tonky stinky winky wonky donkey.
0
1
Groans
1
1
Just read them all out to my kids (censored Realist’s offering) and my daughter thinks Orwell wins.
0
1
(G’wan gets an honourable mention but “it’s not bad but I’ve heard it before”)
2
1
My son told me someone at school threw sodium chloride at him during a Chemistry lesson.
I said, “That’s assault”
1
0
I’m going change jobs to become a manufacturer of mirrors.
I could see myself doing that.
1
1
How do non-binary ninjas kill people?
They slash them.
Join the discussion