Mine don’t tend to put in any sort of meaningful appearance until the end of July at the earliest.

A "gooseberry" is a person who will tag along to a couple, but they themselves are single, usually being an ugly friend whom you can't bear to leave out as he/she will feel awful.

Are you asking for a friend?

I am sure I made a gooseberry fool this time last year

They were red

Maybe it was a funny summer

Late summer/early autumn, dude.  Same as blackberries and apples.

Mmmm ... blackberry and apple pie...

Goosegogs are not red.  Are you sure they weren't lychees (the oriental gooseberry)?

Red gooseberries are red

The clue in the name

Having googled red gooseberry because I didn’t believe they existed, I can inform you that they are ripest mid-July.

No - you said that they were red.  not that they were red gooseberries (i.e. a different variety).  Hence the lychees question.

Admittedly I didn't know that there was such a thing as red gooseberries.  Presumably a new strain.  how did they compare in terms of taste/sharpness?  I only ask because I planted a variety of thornless blackberries once, and they were not a patch on the wild kind.  Mushy and tasteless (much like me).

I bet they taste of pathos and broken dreams.

rered gooseberries are sweeter, a dessert gooseberry (less sugar required)

They all ripen mid July in south East England, clergy may have got some from elsewhere last May?? Although they are really a northern European thing.

Clergy are you positive it wasn't a rhubarb fool? Similar type of flavour

I made it with a punnet of red gooseberries so pretty sure yes

I am going to Sainsbury's and i will not rest until etc