What's the most ordinary thing you've never done?

I have never driven a car.

(Someone on the tweets has never eaten a raw apple so I don't feel so bad)

I think living in a house your husband bought counts because of the economics of domestic division of labour, hoolz. 


NEVER drunk coffee? But what do you do for happiness?

 even the smell of it makes me heave

I’m sure there are loads of other things I haven’t done 

Foiled! Well, my meagre experience is that it's rubbish and then you're stuck somewhere you hate a bit anyway. Actually I've only ever bought a flat too.

I have never:

- had a cup of tea

- had a cup of coffee

- driven a car

- been to cornwall

- been to leeds


Wtf at some of these

i have never had someone round for afternoon tea that I did not invite.

some of you lot are well strange

although I have never bought a house (or a flat) either. not for any particular reason, it just worked out that way. that and that living in other people’s houses is much cheaper...

Used an ‘app’ to order a car. Or a meal.

Been to a pub to watch a game of association football.

I was going to say bookies but does it count at a race course?  If so I have if not then no 

Ooh I’ve done the bookies thing. Although it was a pre trial view thing for an armed robbery I was dealing with. Pretty depressing place as I recall. Ditto a bingo hall on an industrial estate I also visited. 

Thank you for the clarification buzz, but entirely unnecessary as we see you most years in a picture in the daily mail at the grand national in your fake tan, vertiginous heels and fascinator

You forgot the dress which makes me look like I was poured into it but forgot to say "stop".

Watched an episode of EastEnders or Coronation Street or Emmerdale.

I have never had fast food delivered to my home

I've never chosen to eat an avocado.  I've had some when it's in a salad and I can't avoid it.

Oh I've got one. I've never travelled on a plane alone. Only ever with family/friends

Thanks for the offer Strutter but it's a no from me

I played cricket once. I blocked with an accidental edge and it went for a four.  Out next ball mind. 

Yeah I've just never had all day available for a game of anything, frankly.

  • Owned a dog
  • Been to Belgium
  • Tried bungee jumping
  • Done a parachute jump (not even for charity)
  • Watched Love Island, TOWIE or Hollyoaks
  • Been single for more than a year since the age of 2o

I realise that the bungee jump and parachute things may be more exotic, but plenty of people have done them either for charity or whilst on holiday, so I though they were worth including for posteriorerity.

Been to a stadium concert

Watched a live football (i.e., soccer) game

Owned a German car

Eaten beans on toast

Driven any car in London

You're not missing out on the driving in London thing, Supes.  It's terrifying!

I was thinking that it looked intensely boring, as you'd just end up stuck in traffic for hours.


Only cunts drive in central London.

I am gratified to note that several of us have never driven cars

Nasty things

Re driving in London--Roundabouts are still a bit hit or miss for me.

I've never:

ridden on granddad's knee

flashed my boobs

gone on a m8s holiday to Magaluf/Benidorm/wherever to get pissed for 10 days straight


"ridden on granddad's knee"

i don't understand what this means 

horseriding / bouncing around on a knee as a young child. Or basically have fun with a granddad or parent.


I still pick my 12 year old up and give him a smoosh occasionally as I am haunted by reading some time ago that once upon a time your mother picked you up for a cuddle, put you down and never picked you up again. 

he is five foot one so it's getting challenging. 

How would you know though given this is a toddler's pursuit?  Unless both your GFs were dead before you were born I suppose.

1. Never eaten porridge / Nandos

2. Never watched Strictly Come Dancing / Downton Abbey / Game of Thrones etc


No, it was not smut. I didn't have granddads. I had one grandmother who was sweet but not the kind to do fun stuff with us and one evil step-grandmother.

Never eaten in Nandos

Never had a cappuccino (dairy intolerant)

Never been on a motorbike

Never been on a camping or caravan holiday 

Never watched Love Island


I can also add:

-Getting intimate with a fette

-Going to Australia

-Doing a gap year


I've never eaten in Nandos either.  Or KFC for that matter. 

Badders, my dad did it, then my brother did it when dad died, and boykl is a gardener, so when we had a lawn he did it.

Plus, I'm allergic to grasses and pollens, so I can't be around when lawns are being done.

until my mother got married, she had never cooked, as they had a cook at home, and the first time she cut up a chicken, she cried, as he had had a pet chicken.

This is like a sober, non-gratuitous version of "I have never"

I am gratified to note that several of us have never driven cars

Nasty things


How can you say this? you've never driven a car?

I'm allergic to grass and pollen but very few things beat the smell of freshly cut grass and the satisfaction of a neatly mown lawn.

Girkl did you just go somewhere everything is legal and get off your face?

My favourite Martian:

potato pohtahtoh

tomato tomahtoh


blindtom - what a great idea! But no.

I have never taken drugs unless prescribed or over the counter pharmaceuticals in any place.

That is certainly a rarity. Not even a little toke on a spliff?

I never had driving lessons from my parents or older siblings :(

I've never driven my mums car. And what Asti said 

I just don't have that gene. Or a liver that could take the amount of alcohol to get me up there. 

I’m also haunted by the putting down and never picking up for a cuddle thing . Although obviously it’s the father 

- never eaten sushi 

- never eaten avocado

- never been on a holiday longer than one week


Awwww, Feebs.  2 is understandable (and even worthy of veneration), but 1 and 3 make me a sad panda.

I've also never read or watched Harry Potter and will add I haven't read or watched Lord of the Rings.

You needn't bother with either.  Harry Potter is good, mindless entertainment.  LOTR is better left to the imagination (and they could have dealt with it in two films, although it's not as much of a con as The Hobbit trilogy and at least they cut out the whole section with that hippy cunt Tom Bombadil).

Feebs you should hit all of those in a oner. Go one a two week holiday and eat some sushi with avocado in it 

Oh, fuck it:


Judo, as someone who constantly bemoans her relationship status, I'd imagine you've "done it yourself" until you've worn your bean down till it's concave!


Phew - and breath.   Thought my head was going to explode for a sec there.