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Visiting the UK to find my family in a mess

So for my first trip back to the UK in a year (I've been away 4 or 5), I arranged a family get together and was completely struck by how much of a mess my family is. It was really upsetting.  

 

Uncle

 

Appears to have lost at least one prominent tooth since I last saw him a year ago. Chronically obese. Has not worked in over a decade. Cannot read or write. Very poor social skills and "no filter". While browsing through photographs, he casually disclosed to a family member whose mother died during his early childhood that she had been violently raped at the age of 11. This off the cuff remark almost reduced him to tears and will probably continue to trouble him for years to come. 

 

Cousin 1

 

Has not worked since about the age of 18 when she quit a job in disgust after the rota started to preclude her watching Beverley Hills 90210. Now has a 13 year-old son and is busy starving herself in protest at her scouse boyfriend who keeps shagging really rough women behind her back (the last one was an HGV driver from Widnes).  She has now starved herself to the point that she looks like a twiglet with a sunken face. Sadly, I do not expect her to live more than a year at this rate. Scouse boyfriend was not in attendance as he was "working late". 

 

Cousin 2 

 

Has severe learning difficulties. Her parents managed to get very little support for her when growing up.  Few options have been explored for her and she lives an isolated life. Severely depressed (despite medication), and lacking any social skills whatsoever she spends most of the day in bed and when provoked can respond with angry outbursts and even physical violence. She is completely illiterate and has never had a job. Her dad will not live more than 5-10 years and she is totally reliant on him for support. Nobody appears to have made any arrangements at all for what happens when he can no longer provide care (e.g. Life skills, work placement etc.).  

 

Now faced with the crippling depression on top of the intellectual and social limitations, the barriers to her living a fulfilled and active life now seem insurmountable.  I have suggested many times over the years that they contact a disability charity to see what support is available (now not later). So far nobody has listened. She has a social worker who is useless. 

 

I just feel so sad and powerless. Ok maybe I am being snobby posting about people's dental health and job choices but I am genuinely concerned that they will never live happy lives and that everything will just continue to get worse for them. Nobody is willing to accept my help and advice. My mum has told me to stop being a fusspot (probably fair).  Some of this stuff (e.g. My uncle's illiteracy) has obviously been an issue his whole life but I've really been taken aback by everything this visit and feel v miserable. 

 

 

 

Your mum is right. These aren't your immediate family anyway. Weren't they as bad before you left? Would be all the more stark since you haven't seen them in a while.

LOL @ "nobody is willing to accept my help and advice".  Which I am sure has been practical and constructive given you've been OUT OF THE COUNTRY FOR 5 YEARS 

I'm liking the image in my mind.  Saulgoodman arrives at the terrace in a hired gold Bentley coupe. Smashes a few bins and a Vauxhall Vectra out of the way.  Gets out, holds nose. Steps over dead fox. Grimaces.  Takes handkerchief out and wraps finger in it then presses door bell. 

A couple comes to the door.

Image result for waynetta slob

They say "NO JEHOVAS WITNESSES THANKS" and slam it.  Saul peeks through the letter box and says "Mum, Dad, it's me, Saul".

 

The door opens and he is taken into the front room. Uncle says hi.

Image result for man with missing tooth

 

Cousin 1 is arrogantly dismissive

bubble gum monkey GIF

 

Cousin 2's intervention makes him feel guilty

courtney stodden GIF

 

there is nothing to do but despair

Do your mentally unhealthy family not have a regular CPN or social worker appointment?  Social exclusion is terribly dangerous but there should be day centres where they can enjoy group activities like pottery or painting or whatever every week.  Worth looking into.

Just the kind of thing a council estate scumbag done good would do when returning to the motherland. 

FAOD this is not a slur - I mulled over hiring a new Rangey when going back to my council estate as my Porsche Cayman S was around 8 years old, but I decided against.  The desire to demonstrate why you've not been back so long is indeed strong.

I have re-read the OP and now I realise I am barking up the wrong tree. My earlier response was not appropriate.  Very clearly this is a long and complicated Brexit metaphor. 

 

Mutters - how long did it take your secretary to track down the images and work out how to post them for you?

”Stop.  Insert meme, something with Hawking and some proletariat looking women if you can find it. Next paragraph.”

Also, can I just say that I have, after many years, taken on the feedback:

1. it is brief and punchy

2. it has paragraph breaks.

I demand a recount. Come on RoF, this is nervous breakdown stuff.

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