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Let your next career move come to you.

Friend’s ex-wife

I have invited a friend’s ex-wife for dinner in Town. I have lost touch with him and she is undoubtedly a MILF. 

I’m properly cruising for a bruising aren’t I?

OMG wallers, the stories. 
 

I may have been left for a cleaner 10 years my junior but fook me I don’t even give a shit any more.

 

every other weekend I’m without children and OF COURSE I miss the little shits. But not that much.

I think I can get divorced and horny in essex commissioned - I know a guy who knows a guy who's mrs invented all those things.  Escaped knows I am sure who I am talking about.  Let's do it (not that way) Tam - make u a reality star!

I just don't understand how you could get upset with your husband for shagging someone else if you hadn't slept with him for five years.  Clearly not interested in it so why are you bothered?

So, you're going to spend the rest of your "youth" living a life where you are constantly on the precipice of some sort of disaster?  What an absolute waste of an existence.

Hoolie, re Tarquin - I guess even a clock that is completely broken so that all of its internal workings and wiry bits are hanging out, cartoon style, is right sometimes, purely by accident.

Bright carver 

Oh, sorry - now read your 11:14 - if your wife isn't your biggest fan at the moment then obviously you should go and get nuts deep in some other women ASAP. Free pass and fill yer boots.

-------------------

I love you sometimes, carver.

There you go Jorrocks, you've pulled.

If you don't fancy live-roffing your date, I am happy to post the questionnaire results the next day as I did for Phoebs and Legal Alien.

Just to address the recurring point slightly, after what I have put Mrs J through in the last couple of years, I simply can’t divorce her nor can I blame her for the lack if sex.

I did something reckless and dangerous and I got it wrong. Not entirely wrong or I wouldn’t be here at all but wrong enough that I was helicoptered out and unconscious in the ICU for 6 weeks and thereafter in hospital for 6 months. The doctors told her that I might not wake up or might be tetraplegic. They simply didn’t know.

What Mrs J had to deal with as a stay-at-home mum isn’t fun to think about. 3 kids in private education, 4 horses and a small farm.

So she qualifies for quite a lot of slack...

Yes but you weren't shagging before all that either. 

and 3 kids in private school and loads of horses and a big house does not sound like a hardship.  But you crack on. 

Hate myself for even asking, but am intrigued by this tale. So you did something silly (assume skiing or horse riding or track day gone wrong rather than being discovered in a bdsm dungeon having forgotten the safe word etc). Why do you not “blame” her for subsequent lack of sex? Are you physically compromised/deformed in some way? Is she still angry with you? I can’t imagine in what scenario doing something physically reckless would have the consequence of a physically bereft relationship years later. 

Oh no the ponies so many ponies.

That said I'm dubious that many marriages are physical by one's fifties. I don't know what's normal to expect. Maybe chastity.

PS sorry if you're not in your fifties i speak generally 

“Lindaradlett19 Feb 20 20:42

Yes but you weren't shagging before all that either. 

and 3 kids in private school and loads of horses and a big house does not sound like a hardship. But you crack on.”

The point I was trying, evidently rather ineffectually, to make was that this is rather hard work to find yourself in alone rather suddenly.

Mrs J is a bit of a townie and farm and animals are not her idea of good news.

I didn’t mean to stir up your empathy. Time for a nice cup of tea and a sit down.

I do wonder where people's black and whiteness comes from sometimes. There seems to be an extraordinary focus on matters sexual and the importance thereof.

The whole 'oh you thought about cheating (bit didn't) you are the scum of the earth!'

The hang on! the sex has dried up? Oh DIVORCE, DIVORCE NOW.

Life and marriages have a lot more to them than that and after you have been married for a long time and have kids the disruption associated with a divorce is massive.  Even if you end up with a split that is reasonably amicable AND find someone else in due course to get your end away with (both of which are massive "ifs") I am not sure it follows necessarily you are happier.

Is it the happiest of marriages no, probably not.  Might they divorce when the kids have grown up and left home, yes quite possibly by the sounds of things (though they might not, by then a different accommodation may well have been found one way or another). Later life divorces seem to be becoming more common and often make a lot of sense I think.

Is it likely that they will achieve an amicable divorce now that doesn't unduly impact the kids? Who knows but it doesn't sound terribly likely. I suspect there would be a great deal of upheaval required that would impact everyone to a very great extent.

When you talk about impact and upheaval, and all that sort of thing, you mean money.

it's fine if you think staying in a marriage for money / status/ convenience is worthwhile, those are your values not mine.  

No, I don't mean money. I mean stability and belonging to a unit (particularly for the kids). Ultimately you see an awful lot of people divorce and 5 or 10 years later they are both in marriages that look a fvck of a lot like the one they left except life is quite a bit more complicated and stressful.

 

What Mrs J had to deal with as a stay-at-home mum isn’t fun to think about. 3 kids in private education, 4 horses and a small farm.

These are financial considerations. Even if the kids have to change schools that isn't the end of the world and happens all the time.  I'm not saying its easy to make big life changes, but life really is too short to be unhappy.  

"Ultimately you see an awful lot of people divorce and 5 or 10 years later they are both in marriages that look a fvck of a lot like the one they left except life is quite a bit more complicated and stressful."

this is not my experience or what I see from the divorces I have seen in family and friends.  I agree with kimmy but these issues really are a matter of values. If you think it is a better life to keep your marriage for "stability" ie money and what other people think whilst shagging whatever blow in you can find, then that's one way to live but it sounds a bit sad and rubbish to me.  

I think it is quite clear that Jorrocks had a daft horse riding accident that resulted in testicular torsion of such magnitude it bruised his spinal chord, put him in a coma and left him peniplegic.

Best rof genital injury since Rombo's damaging of his Nien Nunb

Ooh BC is that another “oh so witty” choon or meme or something else totally lacking in originality you have come up with?

Women want you and men want to be you.

FACT.

 

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