Have you considered starting some sort of diary?

You know, recording you every thought and experience for posterity.  That might help.

Yeah but that’s what I thought

why don’t I work for Greenpeace or sea shepherd?

also I could do some research and find out who the trophy hunters are in Germany and fooking kill them. Ok maybe not as I will be found out but beat them so hard they become wheelchair bound. Seriously. That would make me feel great

Get into politics clergs.

was just saying to my friend last night how much I would love to be an MP in a Scottish constituency

it would be SO FUN

MSP would be ok but they have to do a lot of ag and fish stuff

sadly I am uncharismatic and find party politics risible

heh imagine I ran on an independent ticket of "save the wildlife - die!"

I think being a Scottish MP involves doing yourself serious liver damage - you may or may not get away with it - Kennedy didn't.

The prime minister has the charisma of a watermelon. Sturgeon not much better. Party politics suck donkey balls, true. I think you'd be good at it tho. Can you be a spin doctor for someone but not on how to play the sheeples but on actual knowledge on certain topics.

I think the ladies are pretty moderate tbf, Guy

I was going to do a maybe not X haha joke but I can't think of any

watermelons are quite charismatic imo!

i know some spin doctors and none of them know anything at all (not even how to manipulate sheeples)

There is worse than sturgeon 

well yeah she is fine

well not sure about the ladies but would be interested to see the stats on the life expectancy of a Scottish male mp - probably comparable to somebody who works with asbestos.

em

bit racist

not really, just the natural result of taking the product of a hard drinking nation and putting them in a high octane sociable job with odd hours along way from home.

Have you considered starting some sort of diary?

I read this as dairy. With Clergs expressing a like of wildlife and wanting a new job on that other thread it may have legs.

the hardest drinking people I know are all English

youse are like fishes

I mean apart from anything else the best thing we could do for wildlife is all die (at a safe distance from watercourses)

This is v funny. Well written.

I think there is a role for you as some sort of Gothic equivalent to Bridget Jones. Bridget Jones meets Mary Shelley. A regular column where you make diary observations like this. Angry, dark, insecure yet insightful thoughts. A journalistic equivalent of sparks of bright pig iron emerging from the coke and slag of the blast furnace.

wot muttley said.

not often we get Clergs, coke and slag in the same thread and it's a compliment, eh?