I'm positive this happens to everyone. 90% of being a lawyer is "confidence". So when that falters, you start questioning everything. When in doubt, I increase the "aggression" button. Half the time I'm talking more sense than those around me anyway. The other half I'm talking utter gash. Okay okay, 70% is gash. Okay 90% gash. Blimey, you're a pushy bunch of khunts eh.

I think is more common than people let on. The more experienced you are, the more you know about a particular issue and it no longer appears quite so black and white as it did when an NQ or just a few years PQE. Putting a positive spin on it - it may be that you are just able to see the issue from a variety of different angles and viewpoints. The misplaced confidence of youth is just being re-balanced.

pretty much everyone bullshits. All the time. No-one knows what they are actually doing.

HTH.

Managing people is also hard work, especially when they can be very black and white and can't understand the shades of grey you try to explain to them.

The other problem is that, in the last 2-3 years, the more I've cared, the more work and responsibility I've been landed with. It's a cycle I can't seem to break out of. I never actually want to manage anyone.

There's a lingering voice saying run away

But good to see that this is more prevalent than I had thought

Life is a game. Don't take any of it too seriously. Just become a good player.

As I've got older I've cared less and know that most things work themselves out in the end.  Was a bit pissed off the first time I ballsed up and had a small claim for a client but also realised these things happen if you do a job for long enough and are not the end of the world.

Sure, a certain element of doubt is healthy as it keeps you in check, although obviously not if it consumes your thoughts to the point you can't operate effectively

It's also winter which I have realised perhaps a little later than most that it negatively affects your thinking - I find best to try and avoid big decisions and reassess in spring/summer

And agree, I defo care less nowadays and things have only really got better

Not caring is a bullshit excuse for not doing your job if you manage people. 

You should have self doubts and question yourself - this is fuel to make sure you are doing the right thing. 

People with no doubts do not learn, do not improve and in 90% of cases are aunts to work for 

Yeah I don't mean not caring in a negligent way or failing your duties to others you manage or work with, you do owe it to them

I mean not caring about things outside your control such as other people being sh*t, business being sh*t etc

ah - fair enough then! agreed. 

I have worked for many people who do not care at all about the people that they have in their teams. 

What Diamond said.  I do still care about the job but I'm just not consumed by the fear of making a mistake as I know these things happen and can generally be sorted out so it's not something to be scared of.

In conveyancing these days there's so much additional stress about being expected to spot fraud and the like that if you worried you'd never do anything.

IG that’s terrible advice, violence/aggression is the last refuge of the incompetent.

I said nothing about violence. Nor was I providing advice. It's an approach that works for me.

I suspect you deal with people who scare easily then it works but anyone who can deal with conflict will see through that kind of behaviour pretty quickly. Escalation is something often employed by bullies. 

I think you misunderstood my post. But that's also my fault. "Aggression" was the wrong word. I think it's important to have a position, and to express it fearlessley. Wrong or right. When I begin to doubt whether I should express it, I remind myself of that.

conviction perhaps. 

Yes, conviction a better word. 

There's a special place in hell for people who are wrong but continue to just assert their position more loudly rather than finding a graceful way to concede the point.  Everybody loves it when a transaction takes twice as long because some idiot is clinging onto the side of a cliff maintaining their wrong position knowing that they could just concede and be saved from plunging to an unpleasant death.

Departing from an assertion indicates weakness. Weakness indicates failure. Failure indicates death.

Proceed at full speed.

Wrong and strong. These are the best people. lol

Sails, that's why it is key to give people a way to bow out gracefully, although not all will take it.