I know a lot of women who have had "introduced" marriages, wherein they met their husband before on a limited basis but both had a "yay or nay" right to refuse a wedding. In most cases, they met only a handful of times before agreeing to marry.
50:50 as to whether it's successful.
I know a number of older arranged marriages, where the bride only met when the commitment to marriage had been made. Those are all Pakistan, Bengal and Turkey. All had the feature of the prospective bride or groom moving to a new country for the marriage.
They were less successful and must have so many issues!
Nadia is from Luton and her husband from Leeds? Both within the UK anyway. Why would they not meet before hand. In her case she also lost her education as a result. Tough breaks!
I do know one marriage I would count as forced. 14 year old Turkish/English girl taken back to Turkey for a holiday and told she must marry and stay there for 2 years. Her Turkish father was afraid she was getting too westernised (despite his marriage to an English woman).
She was okay with the idea as it meant she dropped out of school. Net result was pregnant at 14 and working in a dress factory in East London with her husband who had come back to the UK with her. She didn't speak Turkish and he didn't speak English.
It was not a successful union. Long term she had 3 children by 3 different Turkish men and her husband got a passport. Her father did her no favours...
In many, many cases the couple remain married because there is still a stigma attached to divorce. More so if there are children involved.
20 - 25 years ago the couple would have probably met on their wedding day. The majority of these marriages were successful in the sense the couples tended to remain married. If you asked them if they were happy it would be a different stat.
It would be interesting to overlay some stats on that such as levels of education, diffferences between male and female educational attainment, GDP per head, criminalisation of homoesexuality etc and so on.
most people here seem to be conflating arranged and forced. While forced certainly happens it is far more common to have something closer to an arranged introduction and probably a few meetings.
Its not automatically right or wrong. Different strengths and weaknesses and pros and cons.
We know someone whose mother arranged her marriage. (Her father was dead - they were Indians from Africa). It seemed to be a financial transaction as her mother had to provide a house (quite expensive around here). The poor lady ended up with a gambler and every few years calls me for some kind of advice but the big issue is she doesn't feel she could work because she has children and it's not expected she will and secondly that the husband has a lot of other women and seems to spend about a night a month at the family hojme but they don't divorce because it would look too terrible to the families and she relies on him for income. I think at one stage they even sold the house to pay his then gambling debts. I am sure other people get on fine with an arranged or even forced on them spouse although some will be unhappy in long marriage and it looks wonderful but in fact they aren't happy but it's not permitted to divorce.
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I can't bloody stand Nadia.
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I know some people of Bengali origin and she infuriates them by conflating her personal experience with everyone from there.
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I would never have an arranged marriage myself, but some are clearly a damn sight more successful than many "unarranged" ones.
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I thought this was largely a thing of the past nowadays.
You should check out the forced marriage statistics.
https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/forced-marriage-unit-statistics-2017
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I am in no position to comment, given that I am now on divorce no.2.
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Depends what you call 'success' innit.
Remaining happily married until one of you dies (not by the other's hand FAOD).
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Not really, I think culturally the two can be intertwined. One being the far more liberal version of the other.
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I know a lot of women who have had "introduced" marriages, wherein they met their husband before on a limited basis but both had a "yay or nay" right to refuse a wedding. In most cases, they met only a handful of times before agreeing to marry.
50:50 as to whether it's successful.
I know a number of older arranged marriages, where the bride only met when the commitment to marriage had been made. Those are all Pakistan, Bengal and Turkey. All had the feature of the prospective bride or groom moving to a new country for the marriage.
They were less successful and must have so many issues!
Nadia is from Luton and her husband from Leeds? Both within the UK anyway. Why would they not meet before hand. In her case she also lost her education as a result. Tough breaks!
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Forced and arranged marriage are opposite ends of the spectrum
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I do know one marriage I would count as forced. 14 year old Turkish/English girl taken back to Turkey for a holiday and told she must marry and stay there for 2 years. Her Turkish father was afraid she was getting too westernised (despite his marriage to an English woman).
She was okay with the idea as it meant she dropped out of school. Net result was pregnant at 14 and working in a dress factory in East London with her husband who had come back to the UK with her. She didn't speak Turkish and he didn't speak English.
It was not a successful union. Long term she had 3 children by 3 different Turkish men and her husband got a passport. Her father did her no favours...
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Ouch.
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surely The Home Office should have intervened.
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The fact that arranged marriages sometimes by sheer chance work doesn’t alter the fact that it’s a massively backward and medieval way of acting.
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lots of studies show arranged marriages are more successful than non-arranged marriages, and not just on the divorce rate, but also other metrics.
Citation needed!
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In many, many cases the couple remain married because there is still a stigma attached to divorce. More so if there are children involved.
20 - 25 years ago the couple would have probably met on their wedding day. The majority of these marriages were successful in the sense the couples tended to remain married. If you asked them if they were happy it would be a different stat.
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The only two couples I know who have had arranged marriages do genuinely seem to be very happy.
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Forced Marriage =/= Arranged Marriage
According to Wikipedia 53.25% of marriages worldwide are arranged.
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It would be interesting to overlay some stats on that such as levels of education, diffferences between male and female educational attainment, GDP per head, criminalisation of homoesexuality etc and so on.
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most people here seem to be conflating arranged and forced. While forced certainly happens it is far more common to have something closer to an arranged introduction and probably a few meetings.
Its not automatically right or wrong. Different strengths and weaknesses and pros and cons.
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We know someone whose mother arranged her marriage. (Her father was dead - they were Indians from Africa). It seemed to be a financial transaction as her mother had to provide a house (quite expensive around here). The poor lady ended up with a gambler and every few years calls me for some kind of advice but the big issue is she doesn't feel she could work because she has children and it's not expected she will and secondly that the husband has a lot of other women and seems to spend about a night a month at the family hojme but they don't divorce because it would look too terrible to the families and she relies on him for income. I think at one stage they even sold the house to pay his then gambling debts. I am sure other people get on fine with an arranged or even forced on them spouse although some will be unhappy in long marriage and it looks wonderful but in fact they aren't happy but it's not permitted to divorce.
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marriage in any form is shit.
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