_{Fantasy v Reality.}

Sleeping kits handed out by Simpson Thacher & Bartlett have left solicitors working into the early hours at the US firm nonplussed.

To mark World Sleep Day on 15th March, STB surprised lawyers with a pack of themed gifts. A sleeping ‘Self Help Guide’ advised them to limit exposure to screens, break up the day by exercising regularly, and to increase their wellbeing by “Exposing yourself to natural light”.

_{She looks well-rested. So not a lawyer at a US firm, then.}

The firm’s pamphlet also told lawyers to “Engage in calming activities before bed, such as reading, taking a bath, or practicing relaxation techniques like breathing meditation”.

_{Advising limits on coffee intake, who made this and what do they think City lawyers do.}

Sources said the gifts were misconceived and that handing out sleeping aids was “ironic” given that STB’s corporate teams in London “are regularly made to work until 3am”.

To really rub it in, the “tone deaf” pack also included a Simpson Thacher branded silk eye mask and a pillow spray containing speed essential oils “known for their relaxing properties”.  

Rounding out the goodies was a book, Why We Sleep, which argues that slumber is the “most important” factor for physical and mental health.

_{Look but don't touch, you've work to do.}

Comments from Simpson Thacher lawyers in RollOnFriday’s Best Law Firms to Work At suggested the kit's creators were naïve about its recipients' work/life balances. “Individual partners expect 24/7/365 working”, said one senior STB lawyer. “You're working 16 hour days, every day”, said another.

Even the firm’s perks were designed to keep lawyers from their beds, they said. “Tasty” breakfasts, lunches, dinners and coffee were all provided on-site for free, said a senior STB solicitor, “but remember that it is because they do not want you to waste any time leaving the office”.

The London offices are “nice”, agreed another STB lawyer, “which is good because they are basically a prison cell”.

Simpson Thacher's touch-feely approach to rest and relaxation is an odd fit for some of the London partners, who cancelled holiday cover over Christmas and stopped staff from carrying over their unused vacation days after receiving “irritating” late holiday requests.

But in a firm where newly-qualified lawyers are now being paid £170,000, some readers may feel that three units in a toilet cubicle wearing a silk eye mask is more than they deserve. Others may be of the view that getting to deodorise with chamomile pillow spray during another all-nighter is not an adequate response to the dangers of burnout.

STB did not respond to a request for comment, hopefully because everyone was catching a few zzzs.

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