This will not tun..

Talking of tuns, "tonnage" in shipping ie carrying capacity derives from the term for the duty payable on barrels or "tuns" of wine.

And, indirectly, the cause of the distance between the columns under st Pancras station. 

You’re scrapping the bottomry of the barrel. 

it is an unwritten rule of the universe that only threads for fish puns really work.

That's just carping

Old Vine Zincaravel

A sherry schooner obvs

A nice french mer-lot