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Bristol Childfree Women - have you ever noticed similar family traits?

Very interesting short article here https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c72pnllv8nko

In my mother’s fairly small immediate family there are at least 4 close female relatives who have chosen not to have children. My sister first cousin and second cousin are in that number and I sometimes wonder if my own mother felt societally bound to have children. 

Becoming a father absolutely daunted me and if I had met a partner who had not wanted children it would have probably worked. So for me acceptance of this as a perfectly normal choice is easy to relate to even though I would categorically not change my life for a moment. 

My wife’s family is different. I cannot think of any women on her side of the family who have opted to be childless; my wife simply cannot relate to the notion of preferring not to have children. 

Have you noticed anything similar in your own family suggesting an inheritability aspect to the desire to be a parent? 

I just hope I’m retired before I’ve got a huge wave of decomposed female corpses with signs of feline predation. And all will need fook toxicology because of the massive stash of empty wine bottles in their one bed flats. 

Neither my sister nor I have children and I think people find this weirder than if only one of us didn't.

But it makes sense to me because the only reason to have kids is if you're born with the genetic itch to do so. Having children is unbelievable quantities of housework, sleep deprivation, cash deprivation, being mugged off by their ungrateful arses, worry, interference from fash schools and other organs of the state, damage to body, doing things that bore you deeply for long periods of time, poo and piss, fighting for then waiting at medical appointments, parents evenings instead of the pub, endless homework and World Book Day costumes and waiting in the car outside trumpet practice.

Both my sister and I see this as awful. Unpaid servitude. Casting yourself as an 18th scullery maid only you need to pay the household costs too.

I absolutely believe the ability to see any beauty in it is genetic like  propensity for religious belief.

Surely if it was an inherited proclivity to not want children then this would naturally be selected out of the gene pool ?

 

Thinking about it that's an interesting idea . It's only been for a relatively short period of time that having kids wasn't just more or less a default for everyone .

 

So naturally childfree women were having kids before and now they're not. So maybe their genetic code will vanish from the gene pool now they're more likely to actually not have kids .

 

This could be the final generation where they exist in significant numbers.

Unlikely though as there's probably massive environmental component as with everything. That said I never trust anyone who claims childfree ness cos of the cost /climate change /blahblahblah. I always think it's more fundamentally not wanting the experience which I get 100%. 

Until the last generation there was huge social pressure to breed. It was considered freakish/tragic for women not to have kids. It still is by many. 

As op says, those who really want kids can't empathise at all with those who don't plus there were strong economic reasons for having a big family pre NHS /pensions.

Yes interesting article. The complaint of feeling excluded, even unintentionally, by friends who have had children, is a bit unrealistic about the nature of friendships. They are often more situational than people appreciate.Nothing awful about that. We probably all benefit in one place as much as we miss in another.

Also, everyone is different but being child free doesn't seem to me like one uniform identity, to base a club on. Loads of reasons to choose or end up without children.

Yeah I agree I don't think exclusion is really a thing people just have different lives and you can't expect to be centre of a friend's life after they have kids (which is something that can feel sad/jarring - the being moved outwards).

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