Lawyers reveal what's dreadful at work in Firm of the Year 2017 survey
09 December 2016
Hundreds of lawyers have been revealing what's bad about their firms in the RollOnFriday Firm of the Year 2017 survey (take ten seconds to complete it here
Last week RollOnFriday posted dozens of good things staff had to say about their work. But for every silver lining there is a cloud, and plenty of you have taken the opportunity for a therapeutic vent.
At CMS Cameron McKenna
, the swish new office's layout has upset one lawyer, who says, "Some clown in management thought it was a good money-saving idea to go open plan, but the truth is it's just a shit way for lawyers to work - everyone hates it, but no-one speaks up for fear of being seen to be anti-social
". Office life has got another lawyer down at Norton Rose Fulbright,
who says the health and safety supremo "stalks the floors
" like an "overly-PC ghoul, peddling utter nonsense. Plus I hear they're a Kipper and voted Brexit
As for working late, while there are lots of votes for the money at US firms, they do get singled out for owning their lawyers' arses. At Latham & Watkins, “I am in danger of being absorbed into the fabric of the building like Bootstrap Bill from Pirates of the Caribbean ("Bootstraps Bootstraps")"
. Keeping a stiff upper lip, a Paul Hastings lawyer consoles herself with the knowledge that, “It is possible to have toast to ease the ongoing pain of a thrashing from a soulless body stateside
“. And a Kirkland & Ellis lawyer asks, “Have you ever had to cancel a holiday while you were on the holiday?
||"That's right madam! We're here to fly you back to w-"
But the UK big boys aren't getting away scot-free, either. At Slaughter and May
, “There is serious upset among associates that the highest earning partners in the country won't even match Silver Circle salaries. The firm has a lot to do if it doesn't want to see significant exits in January
”. Taking it into the gutter, a Freshfields
staffer reveals that certain parts of the office are not that fresh, raising the "appalling state of the loos in Northcliffe House
". Where, apparently, "the female toilets have signs up warning that if habits don't improve, the firm will start monitoring and tracking usage to name and shame the worst offenders
". It's the only way to be sure.
Disgusting loos are not even the fault of Thomas Cooper LLP's staff, where “toilet tourists from other firms in the building
" leave "mountains of shit and lakes of piss all over the gents
There have been a few criticisms of law firm bosses. BLM Senior Partner Mike Brown's "ridiculous goal of being 'leading global risk and insurance business by 2020
'" has been "undermined by 'Where's Brown Been?'
", a "monthly map showing him travelling, by jet, from Manchester to Liverpool. Might help if he had an office outside of the UK and Ireland
". Browne Jacobson's communication of the year's highlights "via internal propaganda media 'BJTV', in a parody of Peter Kay's Car Share acted out by the managing partner and COO, was as courageous as it was unnecessary
". While charity of the year goes to Shoosmiths, whose recruitment policy "is all-encompassing to the extent they hired a former lawyer who was struck off the roll to head up their London Real Estate department
Of course every firm has flaws, and many of those quoted above had some good things to say as well. Get it out of your system by taking the survey here