Lawyers were guilty, innocent, settling and suing in 2017.

Barristers demonstrated their skill at moving from one side of the dock to the other. This year, one was jailed for calling a receptionist a "thick ***t". But it's tough for briefs. Another almost got shot by armed police for drinking orange juice. In other prison news, a DLA Piper staffer went to jail for a homophobic attack, and a former UEA law lecturer was convicted for child porn. So was a former Baker McKenzie IT partner.

In a bizarre story featuring a hotdog fortune and a drilled safe, another Baker McKenzie partner paid £130,000 to her cousin to settle his claim that she swindled him out of his inheritance.

"Hold fire! Hold fire dammit, he's got the apple juice too."

There was mixed news for the infamous (and semi-fictional) Dawn Ellmore recruitment gang. Dawn's son, who also works in the family business, was taken to court for calling an ex-staffer a "thief" and a "tosser" on a crowded train. He was cleared.

Meanwhile, Norton Rose Fulbright was sued by an ex-partner who claimed another partner tore down her Nelson Mandela postcard, the monster.

Judges showed their whip hand, flaying Womble Bond Dickinson for serving up a stupidly huge 2,000 page bundle. And they excoriated one of their own in an extraordinary tribunal. A brutally blunt judge provided brilliant instructions for his interns. And in the US, a paralegal sued a partner over, yes, 'butthole pics', and jurors showed their contempt for a fraudster who was a butthole.