Poor old Hammonds. Not only are partners having to face up to the possibility of earning less than the office tea boy (see story; and another; and another), some nutter in the firm's Birmingham office has started relieving himself in his colleagues' shoes.

Ian Forrest, partner in charge of Birmingham, sent the following email to the whole office on Tuesday:

It is with regret that I have to raise an issue that was thought to have been resolved. Unfortunately we still have an individual within the office who is urinating in the footwear of female members of staff. I can assure you that when the culprit is caught that person will be subject to disciplinary action. As these disgusting acts constitute gross misconduct, summary dismissal will result. We are again actively trying to identify the culprit. In the meantime, please can I ask you to store your personal belongings out of sight and preferably, if valuable to you, to leave these at home. If you observe any individuals hovering by desks or in offices where they have no reason to be, please inform HR, Security or me.

A spokeswoman for Hammonds said that the firm wasn't commenting on the issue, so we weren't able to get answers to the questions this email begs. Such as why staff were walking round the office barefoot in the first place, the science involved in "hovering" by a desk and whether this whole episode might simply be a clever physical criticism of Hammonds' piss-awful recent performance...
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