What's your morning routine?



Wake up

Scroll TikTok for 20 minutes

Lay some cable and scroll more TikTok while I'm cabling

Apply sunscreen and go for a walk

Come home and shower

Chin some breakfast (I'm loving bagels at the moment) 



I got asked that in hospital with a broken arm. I was more than a bit grumpy so I said to the nurse 'A cold beer from the fridge and half a pack of cigs. And if there's any red wine left over from last night I'll have that too".

Stupid woman was writing all down. Don't try to joke with these people.

“What we eventually run up against are the forces of humourlessness, and let me assure you that the humourless as a bunch don't just not know what's funny, they don't know what's serious. They have no common sense, either, and shouldn't be trusted with anything.”

Current routine is changed as of 10 days ago.

Try to quietly access office above where new puppy sleeps.

Catch up with any overnight activity/news before she stirs.

Head down as soon as she does, hopeful that today will be the day without a puddle of pee to greet me. So far no morning poohs until she has eaten.

Clear up her pee. 

Feed her, and take her out, having flicked the switch on the coffee machine as I walk past it.

Praise her for poohing. Bag it before she contemplates eating it or running through it.

Play tuggee with squeaky duck until she settles.

Drink coffee.

Wake up at 6ish. At the moment my RA is affecting my hands so they’re very stiff first thing. Right hand worse at the moment.  So, I try and manipulate that with the other before getting up as getting out of bed with only one hand working properly is a bit painful. Get up and shower, which helps ease everything off a bit. Feel a bit like the Tin Man before oil can time. Make up & hair & get dressed. 
Head downstairs to feed the animals. Make tea. Take medication. Wait for the useful stuff to kick in. Leave around 7:15/7:30ish. 

So there we go. Couldn’t find the humour aspect this morning. Pain is a fvcker. 😞

Used to hit up H&H bagels in NYC back in the day. Widely agreed to be the best in the city. Manhattan is now so sanitized I wonder whether those places still exist. 

Good bagels (actually pronounced beigal as in bye) are better than sandwiches. 

The stodgey impersonators usually doing the rounds are far worse than sandwiches. 



This is a low carb thread now!

Alarm at 5.30, let the dog out and feed the cat whilst getting a coffee.  Back to bed for half an hour.  Water the greenhouse and allotment, let the chook out, loo and ablutions and get dressed.  Bed making, quick tidy, start work at 7.. plough til 5.... but only for 4 days a week


Morning routine 

get up, take vitamins and asthma medications eyes drops.

Put kettle on, open blinds downstairs and feed cats, empty dishwasher, put load on. Make coffee.

make kids beds, get kids up, dressed, clean teeth - theirs and mine, make them breakfast

home learning 

Make lunches, make sure bags are packed

me get dressed and ready, make our bed 

Shoes on - me and kids

into the car and out we go 

In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now.

After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine.

I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. 

Wake up and hit the snooze button a few times and then ten minutes of browsing e-mail and social media before getting up, having a shower, getting dressed and heading for work.  If I'm working from home I'll throw in a bowl of cereal between getting dressed and heading for work.

Get up at 5am

Read a chapter of my ceo boss babe book

Write in my gratitude journal 

15 mins breath work

Manifest a beautiful life for myself 

Follow my 78 step skin care routine 

Matcha latte 

30 minutes yoga 

Update my social media so everybody knows I have just done steps 1-8 HIGHLIGHTING the 5am start. 

Ring work to tell them I’m taking a mental health day because I’m gen z and owe my employer nothing.

Ring daddy to ask for some money.

alarm at 5.45 or so




feed cats and fish. 

wake kids up if not already awake

sort kids' beds

take kids and assorted water bottles/mugs downstairs

feed kids (new development today, make kids get own cereal, supervise said getting of cereal, clean up after kids getting cereal); repeat with multiple bowls.

sort washing machine/tumble dryer/clothes to go upstairs/clothes to go on kids

sort dishwasher/dishes

other tidying up as required & time permits

Tea/coffee for adults.

remove towels from floor, hang up. turn off lights, open blinds. make bed

start dressing kids 

head for train.


those who make their kids' beds

do you also make your own beds?

I don't think I have made a bed since the Edwardian project I did at primary school where we had to use old fashioned sheets

you just sort of throw the duvet roughly in place, no?

This morning. Up at 6.15am, run to park (it's only 15 mins). Do boot camp in park. Run home (takes more like 20mins coming back). Ruffle kids' hair as they head out out the door to school. Make Mrs Donny coffee. 




Mine involves the usual stuff with the addition that first off, 6.30-7, my OH and I take the cats into the garden.  Two on jackets and leads, one free roaming as he is scared of the fences!  Cat 2 (Ruprecht) and 3 (Baloo) are then allowed to have baby quail chicks and normal chicks together to get them more integrated so my morning usually involves me running around the garden in gym kit with day old chicks tied to elastic.


I appreciate many will judge for this.

We have 28 days before the cat protection fencing goes in at which point the herd will be released without supervision and our mornings become relatively normal again.

is this literal chicks running around the garden? and the cats? which are on leads?

and you wonder why we may judge you for this?

and the cats have jackets? are they bespoke ? or just off the peg?


Not quite Clubbers!  They are frozen.  The sort that people who have snakes and reptiles buy.  Defrosted overnight and then they get to have them as long as they play nice!

Their jackets are obviously bespoke!  But from a woman who makes cat jackets to be used with extendable leads.  Fenton has a camo version and Baloo has a black one with skulls and crossbones on.

7.00 Husband gets up.  8.00 He brings me tea in bed.  8.30 I get up.  Have at least 2 cups of tea more, take pills, check phone. On working days start work at 9.30.

The most leisurely it has ever been. It's great.

4:30 am.

I wake up.


From the fogginess of dreams, to the readiness of full

As I have done for over fifteen years.

A quick kiss to my wife’s sleep head,
I proceed into my morning routine.

Glancing into my children’s rooms, somewhat envious of the sleep of youth, I proceed downstairs to the kitchen, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filling my senses.

Peering out the window, the calming darkness remains, intermediate havens of light shine as beacons from my dozen backyard ambiance lights, enhancing the beauty of the winter landscape.

Coffee in hand I head to my office.

The glow of twenty-four screens erupt to life as I enter.

Alexa automatically begins unrolling my day, highlighting my agenda – meetings, calls, activities, both personal and corporate.

Four screens auto-load into various local and global news feeds – reminding me that there is a much greater world out there.

Two and a half hours till my children, my wife awake.

The world never stops moving, never sleeps. It is digitally connected. Everything real time now. Live and per second.


The dots are moving and my world connects.

I close my eyes for one second.

I pause.

I smile.

Eyes open.

I feel the energy. The excitement.

The passion.

A new day begins.

I get up when I want 
Except on Wednesdays 
When I get rudely awakened by the dustmen
I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea 
And I think about leaving the house

Wake up

Check to see if a rugrat ninja has stealthily made their way into our bed during the night

If not (5% of the time), see if Mrs Actus fancies a bit of fun to start the day

Get rebuffed, being reminded that we don't have time and all of the things that need doing before we leave the house

Jump into the shower (95% of the time this is actually step 2)

Think long and hard to remind myself how much better life really is with kids 

Our alarm goes off.  I go back to snooze and Mr Ash takes a shower and makes coffee.  Brings me coffee in bed, and I get up around 30 minutes later.  I either - 

- Do my hobbies;

- Practice golf;

- Watch TV/read

We head out for our morning coffee around 10am, and return and I do what I want...until we go to lunch around noon o'clock.

Always clean teeth before breakfast! If it’s not done upstairs it’s a last minute panic when leaving the house as forget in the lively throng that is our morning 

Phase 1: Get up. Coffee. News. Scratch bottom. Wordle. 

Phase 2: Make breakfast for Mrs K and young Master K. Drag aforementioned little treasure out of bed. 

Phase 3: The 3 Ss. Get dressed. 

Phase 4: Spend at least 15 minutes trying to locate one of keys, phone, work access cards, AirPods, wallet 

Phase 5: Walk to station. More coffee. Commute. Read book. 

Phase 6: Arrive at work. More coffee. Apply mop and bucket and fire extinguisher until broadly acceptable.

baby quail chicks and normal chicks together to get them more integrated so my morning usually involves me running around the garden in gym kit with day old chicks tied to elastic.

I suppose it's marginally better than a kimono, a bat and a dead fox...


Up at 6:30 (6:15 on Tuesday)


Weetabix x 8 + unpack the dishwasher if the kids haven't done it

On Tuesday leave home at 7am drop JM1 to school

Other days drop JM2 at school for 8 (7:45 for Thursday and Friday). Back at home working at 8:15 or headed into the office 1 day a week.



Up at 6:30 (6:15 on Tuesday)


Weetabix x 8 + tidy the kitchen after JM1 and JM2 have been through and left a mess + unpack the dishwasher if the kids haven't done it

On Tuesday leave home at 7am drop JM1 to school

Other days drop JM2 at school for 8. Back at home looking for jobs/chatting with chinny's at 8:15 followed by gym/bike for a few hours. 

Might have to do the laundry, hang out and then fold when dry. 

Up around 5/5.30 depending on whether alcohol had been imbibed night before

Walk dogs

Bit of brekkie/work/bodily functions

Feed and deal with kids around 7/8


Get to work or work from home 

Only Ash89 sounds the least bit sane. The integrated chicks on leads and cats lost me a bit. 

Wake up, put kettle on, do any left over dishes, make coffee, drink coffee, listen to meditation to persuade myself life is good when really mine is rather lacking in quite a few areas, make a smoothie in blender, shower, make bed, do some yoga 10 minutes, go for a walk somewhere green. Return and log on. If it’s an office day most of above missed apart from waking and coffee. 


Get up, take dog out for a piss. Take pain killers. Have coffee. Feed dog. Take dog out for a poo. Get kids up. Have slice of toast. Check emails. Take bentines2 to school. Come back. Check emails. Take dog for a run. Work and that.