The way children’s names are an arms race

I know a Bacchus, whose sister is Scheherazade

My son plays football with a British lad from Stoke called Zlatan.

Heh @ a Stoke Zlatan.

just the usual Arlo, Hugo, Esme etc for me.

I am aware of a chap who has named his boys Elvis and Ringo.

The poor wee mites.

Ayr Town are a football team I think?

Scottish championship division IIRC

The asbo reporting in the local paper always used to be a great source of amusement for lads called things like Schmeichel and Rooney.

i also know an Ayrton

Ayrton is weird, no?

not the name itself but the firey death connotations

ickle flaming baba

I know twins who are Ralph and Hugo. Not too bad until you find out that they have genuinely 'designer' middle names.

the second baby's middle name is Boss?

heh

My sister gave her son an "exotic" name. They called him Logan as in Wolverine. There are fooking tons of logans of about the same age.

I don’t know any children with fvcking silly names. You guys must be friends with twots. My own kids have names that are proper real names, but not ten-a-penny

Austin Danger Powers

I don't know any children with stupid names

My kids have normal names to reflect their normal upbringing and working class routes

You lot all live in Esher and Southend clearly

friend's son has a middle name of "danger".

to be fair all three have ridiculous first names.

Can’t imagine how he’ll chat the ladies up

Davos can't comment further, he is putting Jermaine and Kourtney to bed.

The best names are normal but rare.

I knew a bloke whose surname was Valentine. His first name was also Valentine. Valentine Valentine. I also knew a Mr. Smellie. I also met a bloke at an IT conference in the US, called Truck Morrison. I asked was he related to Van, but that didn't register.

But his cousin is called Carmen Ghia

I now have a great nephew and great niece with unpronouncable (odd spelling) names, so I haven't bothered learning them...

I had a client whose middle name was Justice. I made some lame comment that it was unusual and he said it was because his parents had met at court. Whether one of them was on the bench or in the dock, I did not ask.

The long-standing US trend of giving kids surnames as their first name has caught on over here.

’Carter’, ‘Logan’, ‘Harper’ etc.

I can't understand people who give children names that are cute on a toddler but ridiculous on an adult. Give them a proper name to use.

I have one of these names, don't do it to your kids. Spend my life saying, no, that is my actual name.

Never trust anyone with a surname as a first name.

Still waiting for ‘Smith’ to make an entry.

My mother worked in a rough Comp in Middlesbrough.

One of her 14 year old kids got pregnant and had the child. She brought it in and it was called Simara. Quite an unusual name, so she asked her why - the 15 year old boy who impregnated her wore Aramis aftershave and Simara is Aramis backwards.

She also had a girl who called her daughter Tia Maria.

Heh. At my son’s primary there is a kid named ‘Prada’. There’s also a ‘Diesel’ in another class. I should prob move.

subsitute teacher at school was called Mr Willie. Really chose the wrong profession with that name...

My music teacher was Mr De’Ath.

Just have Death, Sir - nobody’s buying it.

I also know an Ayrton! Wonder if they are all the same kid. Did laugh a bit when I heard it.

There’s loads of Jensons. Presumably some named after or because of Jenson Button, who was named Jenson because his Dad loved the Jenson Interceptor car.

Shame he couldn’t spell it

Shame he spelt it wrong.

Heh!

Nearly true

According to John, Jenson was named after his Danish friend and rallycross opponent Erling Jensen, changing the "e" to an "o" to differentiate it from Jensen Motors, while Simone recalls that she named him Jenson after noticing a Jensen sports car and thought the change of spelling would be "more mannish"