The way children’s names are an arms race

Predictable I guess. I know an Aldous, a Hendrix and an Ayrton. One is a relative.

I don’t know any children with fvcking silly names. You guys must be friends with twots. My own kids have names that are proper real names, but not ten-a-penny

I don't know any children with stupid names 

My kids have normal names to reflect their normal upbringing and working class routes 

You lot all live in Esher and Southend clearly


I knew a bloke whose surname was Valentine.  His first name was also Valentine.  Valentine Valentine.  I also knew a Mr. Smellie.  I also met a bloke at an IT conference in the US, called Truck Morrison.  I asked was he related to Van, but that didn't register.

I had a client whose middle name was Justice. I made some lame comment that it was unusual and he said it was because his parents had met at court. Whether one of them was on the bench or in the dock, I did not ask.

I can't understand people who give children names that are cute on a toddler but ridiculous on an adult. Give them a proper name to use.

I have one of these names, don't do it to your kids. Spend my life saying, no, that is my actual name.

My mother worked in a rough Comp in Middlesbrough.

One of her 14 year old kids got pregnant and had the child.  She brought it in and it was called Simara.  Quite an unusual name, so she asked her why - the 15 year old boy who impregnated her wore Aramis aftershave and Simara is Aramis backwards.

She also had a girl who called her daughter Tia Maria.

There’s loads of Jensons.  Presumably some named after or because of Jenson Button, who was named Jenson because his Dad loved the Jenson Interceptor car.

Nearly true

According to John, Jenson was named after his Danish friend and rallycross opponent Erling Jensen, changing the "e" to an "o" to differentiate it from Jensen Motors, while Simone recalls that she named him Jenson after noticing a Jensen sports car and thought the change of spelling would be "more mannish"

subsitute teacher at school was called Mr Willie. Really chose the wrong profession with that name...

Hopefully there was another member of staff called "Holding". 

 I sort of think Dairylea would be a nice name for a girl...


ARRGGHH! WHAT AM I SAYING? It would be a terrible name. Just not as bad as the ones ITT which are chronically abusive. Bacchus???