A thread for punchlines without the joke.

…I didn’t say pianist.

Right. I had hoped this might get me a perfect tun but it has dropped away so, instead, I will satisfy my curiosity. There are several that I don’t know/can’t work out. Let me know, please the jokes with the following punchlines:

  • Gravy poured out
  • Nice belt
  • Solar powered torch
  • Death by mau mau
  • “And what does the circus want a plasterer for?" said the duck.
  • "So he shot him" (your first entry though Camenbert is my all-time fave)
  • I’ve never had a lentil on my face
  • Here are your cigarettes. Have you seen my son’s hamster
  • It’s an entirely different kind of flying

    Based on the above, I think Camenbert wins overall.

"he makes the knickers, I try them on and say Diesel Fitter"

"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"

"everyone knows you can only make two lips from hamster jam"

"sold his soul to Santa"

"sat up all night wondering if there really was a dog"

"one of it's legs is both the same"

"can't you tell, the black one is four inches taller than the white one"

"I don't like your horse either"

"got any bread?"

And what does the circus want a plasterer for?" said the duck


A duck walks into a bar: "can I have a cheese sandwich and a pint please?"

"Wow, did you just talk"

"Well, how else am I going to order? Hurry up, we only get 30 mins for lunch at the building site"

"But that's amazing - surely you should work for the circus" 

Camembert... you've tweaked my favourite joke...

A clown walks into a bar and the barman says, "You're a Clown!" 

"very observant of you, can I have a pint please"

"is the circus in town?"

"it is and I don't have a lot of time, can I have that pint please"

The clown drinks his pint and leaves and a short time later a duck walks into the bar wearing a hard hat and hi viz jacket.

"Pint of stout please" he says to the barman

"A Talking Duck!!"  says the barman,

"Very obesrvant of you" says the duck, "now can I have that pint"

"you know" says the barman, "The circus is in town, you should go and get a job"

"what would they want with a plasterer?"