Official ROF Valentine poems thread

To the young' uns on here (are there any?)

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I'm a cougar

How old are you?

For Buzz: 

(because by now it's tradition I post something cringey just for you)

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I want to order pizza

and watch netflix with you

For tricky:

There was a young man called van Eyck

Who didn’t know what he should like

He’d go out hunting girls 

For to give them some pearls

But he’d end with his thumb in a dyke

For Strutter (nicked off the interwebs)

There was a young man from Brighton
Who thought he’d at last found a tight ‘un.
He said, “Oh my love,
It fits like a glove.”
Said she, “But you’re not in the right ‘un.”

For Tricky

There was a Dutch girl who bought flowers

and tried to snare Buzz with her powers

What she'd like very much

Because she is Dutch

Is a day spent having golden showers. 


The feisty roffette Judy Carter

Got herself into a terrible lather

When offered some fun

Up the front bum

Replied “there is something else which I’d rather”.

A 'straya based roffette it seems

Has norks which appear in my dreams

I'd go to the ends of the Earth

Or at least down to Perth

To glaze them like two Krispy Kremes.

Cried Pindar from the palace at Thebes,

"All local girls seem to be such dweebs;

so to clear the air,

I admit I just love a good pair

and that's why I so fancy RoF's Pheebs"