The RollOnFriday Firm of the Year 2018 survey closes soon, and only a handful of responses have been received from some firms. Unless more staff chip in, this will be the last we hear from the gallant insiders featured here.

They include staff at HRH's favoured firm, where a non-fee-earner dubbed her Farrer & Co colleagues "self-righteous t***s" for "thinking they are better than anyone else because they get to send the Queen a Christmas card". Another non-fee-earner at Farrers called the culture "toxic", saying she had "seen girls crying in the toilets".

Up north, life at Scottish firm Brodies was "tantamount to indentured servitude", said an associate. Lawyers "are not allowed to eat the snacks" and there is "no free coffee either. It's a Scottish firm after all". A colleague agreed: "The partners rake it in while the rest of us are told no pay rises and no bonus". She said, "the truth is they have a 'creative' marketing department. Pity I didn't find this out until after I'd relocated and accepted the job".

"I see. And how long have you been crying in the toilets?"

But it's not all black spots. Foot Anstey was billed the "best firm I've worked at for work/life balance by a country mile" by a senior associate, and his only complaint was that "the hand dryers have the power of an asthmatic gnat". Better loo news at Debevoise & Plimpton, courtesy of the "recent introduction of hygiene spray for the seats".

At PwC, lawyers were apparently told salaries were benchmarked against the Silver Circle. "And that is true", said a junior. "Salaries are consistently £10k less than the Silver Circle". The accountants recently culled PAs for all non-partners, said another solicitor. "Everyone else has a virtual secretary that can respond to your query within six hours (which is completely useless)". But a senior solicitor maintained there should be "more publicity as to how good it is". PWC is, after all, a firm where the legal partners "are not remotely influential".

Last word goes to a Browne Jacobson solicitor who wants help. "If David Brent managed a law firm then this would be it", he claimed. "They have all these brand words which are utterly meaningless. Like wtf is mogility?"

There is still time to qualify your firm. Have your say, comments optional, here.