Fans of Womble Bond Dickinson can now brand their life with the firm after it opened an online shop to celebrate its recent merger. They can also order hundreds of biscuits for free thanks to an apparent pricing mistake.

Via its online shop, called "The Team Store", Womble Bond Dickinson is offering over 60 branded items for sale. Arranged into sections which it rather grandly calls "Collections", the shop is flogging everything from golf balls (a law firm classic) to teabags to paper napkins. And of course umbrellas.

 

Last year Womble Carlyle merged with Bond Dickinson. "Now", announces the store, "you can celebrate this historic combination with official Womble Bond Dickinson merchandise". Perhaps with a pro-merger lapel pin. 

     




Sadly, staff will be fired if they're caught without one.
 

In what appears to be a serious miscalculation of the public's level of affection for the new firm, WBD invites visitors to "Show your Womble Bond Dickinson pride with our exclusive apparel, or order an item as a gift for clients or family members".

   




"Thank you, darling, this will pay for the first 90 seconds of divorce advice."

Taking a cue from one of the worst trends in advertising, WBD claims it is "Telling our brand's story through amazing products". Going by the wares on show, that means WBD's story is about:

   




A melon in a fleece vest 
 


   




Who couldn't understand why he always ate alone

   




Until he found the answer at the bottom of a glass.
 

WBD's description of its tumblers boasts that the design "lends an outspokenly masculine air to the series". So do consider pairing it with the golf-ball-and-business-card-dispenser to cement your status as a walking cravat.

   




#LiveLikePartridge
 

A source who stumbled across the site asked, "Are they just selling on crap that Uncle Bulgaria has picked up from Wimbledon common?"  No evidence has been found to support that theory. But RollOnFriday investigators did discover that WBD's branded 'Rectangle Chocolate Cookies' are retailing for $0.



So we ordered 1,000 of them, to be delivered to Womble Bond Dickinson's London office.



Do share them if they arrive. Because there aren't any left now.



UPDATE: Sad news cookie monsters. WBD’s shopkeep has cancelled RollOnFriday’s generous order. 
Tip Off ROF

Comments

Anonymous 10 Aug 18

I used to laugh at Irwin's.

Never thought it'd be my turn to be so ashamed. I blame the Americans. Wombles are so 80s.

Anonymous 10 Aug 18

Omg, wat. I can just picture the meeting where everyone sat around enthusiastically agreeding this was a GREAT idea, while simultaneously thinking silently that this was the stupidest idea they'd ever heard in their lives.

Anonymous 10 Aug 18

This is beyond bizarre.

Imagine sharing a tube carriage with some dig bick Goldman Sachs banker with his branded gym bag, only to rock up in a WBD gilet.

Anonymous 10 Aug 18

If I hadn't already left WBD, I'd be handing in my resignation this morning. They have obviously gone completely insane.

Anonymous 10 Aug 18

The WBD ice cubes (bargain at only USD 33.00) are my favourite: https://shopwbd-us.com/collections/home/products/city-ice-cubes

Anonymous 10 Aug 18

When billings are falling and rates are already too low, change tactics and begin flogging branded tat online.

Seems about right for a Brown Circle titan like Womble Bond Dickinson.

Anonymous 10 Aug 18

A few years back to ‘cut costs’ the decision was made to stop milk, tea and coffee being supplied in the staff kitchens and the Chairman put a box of teabags in the kitchen with a post it saying a ‘present from the Chairman’. Selling WBD tea bags ($20 for 50) to staff is just the next step for such an innovative law firm.

Anonymous 10 Aug 18

surely there should be a Blair Doll and a multitude of cowboy outfits for purchase...

Anonymous 10 Aug 18

I love the way that, rather than being taken offline, those cookies are now listed at USD575. Supply and demand?

I'd love some cellophane bags (100pc for USD10).

Slightly odd / concerning combination of tissue paper (50pc for USD5.00) and Webcam security covers (250pc for USD712.50)...

Anonymous 15 Aug 18

why is this news? SquiresPB has had a shop for some time. So do other firms. Just google the firm's name and tshirt. They will come up.

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