The US lawyer who calls himself the Texas Law Hawk is back with a new advert in which he performs daring stunts on a motorbike, wields an axe and humiliates a dwarf.

The Texas Law Hawk, otherwise known as Bryan Wilson, originally starred in a video in which he kicked a policeman's computer out of his hands and failed to break the branch of a tree using a low concrete wall. He subsequently raised the stakes by catching a fish with has bare hands and leaping gingerly from a moving vehicle. Now he has taken things up another notch by hiring a small motorbike.

The opening scene is set to a sombre version of the Star-Spangled Banner. While it plays, Wilson wheelies respectfully across a montage of American flags.

The music is interrupted by an explosion and, punctuated by the screeches of a hawk, Wilson snarls, "Bryan Wilson, Texas Law hawk!", marches at the camera yelling, "Bryan Wilson, the Texas Law Hawk!" and pulls another patriotic wheelie.

As locals stroll by unfazed, because they're used to Law Hawk, Wilson squats in the middle of the road and screams, "Talons of justice!". Then a hawk looks the other way.

Wilson then appears on his bike, shouts, "Due justice? Do wheelies!" and wheelies into a forest looking not altogether in control of his hog.

Next, wearing a Mexican wrestling mask, he performs a synchronised flex with a man who has escaped from a gimp cellar. Law Hawk says something, but his voice is muffled by the mask.

Meanwhile, a naked man with the head of a bear waves goodbye to dinner guests as a policeman looks on. The policeman, who appears to be inebriated, arrests them for drink-driving and takes them to a barn, where he hooks them up to a cardboard breathalyser and rants at the camera.

It looks like the suspects are headed for incarceration or worse, until one of them refuses to blow into the officer's tube and makes a call on a hawk-shaped telephone. Then this happens:

His work done, Wilson poses with giant wings at an intersection and a hawk does a triple-take, because did a lawyer really just jump through a wall on a motorbike and use an axe to reveal a little person holding an oversized pencil. Yes he did.

To fully appreciate the Talons of Justice, the screaming and the explosions, turn up the volume on the video below and call over all your colleagues.

Tip Off ROF


Anonymous 23 Oct 15

This guy is great. BTW RoF - he is not muffled by his mask. Rather he says "Law Hawk" in Spanish - "Halcon dey Ley"!

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