14 August 2014
A woman who burned off her fingerprints to escape identification has been unmasked as a lawyer on the run.

Police arrested the mystery fugitive in Ohio when she was caught trying to use a fake birth certificate to obtain state ID. When she was booked at the police station officers discovered that she had no fingerprints. County Sherriff Samuel Crish said, "There was no ridge detail whatsoever. Just smooth, like a baby's butt. They're never going to come back".

The woman refused to say who she was and claimed that she was a victim of human trafficking. She had been staying with an elderly local woman, possibly without permission, where police found she had researched how to remove fingerprints on the internet. "Our bigger concern", said one of the detectives at a public appeal, "is what is she running from?"

    Ann Miller, pretending to have never been a lawyer
After going unidentified for a month, the fingertip-less woman was fingered by an tipster as Ann Miller, a disbarred attorney from Virginia. Miller had been removed from the roll in 2009 after client funds went missing and was wanted in Colorado on charges including burglary and trespass.

Miller previously appeared in the press in 2009 when she was charged with attacking a paralegal who was dating her ex-boyfriend, another attorney. After his ex's latest pickle the former boyfriend told reporters that Miller filed increasingly bizarre lawsuits against him, including one in which "she claimed I injured her pet bobcat in Alaska".
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Comments

Anonymous 15 Aug 14

My only comment is that a global change from "fingertip" to "fingerprint". Otherwise, feel free to send.

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