A Freshfields lawyer has secured the princely sum of £100 by winning RollOnFriday's Christmas Quiz, allowing him to retire early and in luxury.
Santa was a bit of a demon this year and conjured up an especially thorny set of questions about the big stories of 2019.
The difficulty was reflected in the small number of people who scored 100%. Our readers are very, very clever, but only 16 answered all 12 questions correctly/could be bothered to cross-refer to the Review of the Year story.
RollOnFriday pasted their names onto lions and shot the unfortunate animals into space. The first lion to be retrieved from orbit bore the name of the winner. And that person was...Benjamin Schoo of Freshfields!
Of course we put helmets on them. Not monsters.
"I am obviously very excited to have won this", said Benjamin. "I moved from London to Berlin four years ago and RoF has been a vital source for me to stay on top of UK legal news and gossip. No Friday morning is complete without a quick look at the weird and wonderful world of bonkers, glamorous and other lawyers."
Benjamin eschewed the chance of a meal with the RollOnFriday team "unless you guys fancy a trip to Berlin, birthplace of currywurst and the doner kebab!?" We do, but we won't. £100 is winging its way to you, Benjamin. Congratulations.
As for the rest of you, here are the answers.
January: What did solicitor Tim Bennett call his client?
"crazy man with a death wish"
"unstable bipolar nutter"
"DISGUSTING PIECE OF SH*T"
All of the above
February: How long did it take the CRS partner to row the Atlantic?
41 days 4 hours and 22 minutes
55 days 3 hours 48 minutes
90 days 5 hours 10 minutes
He's still out there
March: What name did the catfishing lawyer who pretended to be a woman give himself?
April: In an Easter message, what did a Milbank partner tell his team to deliver to clients?
The Word of God
May: Which team names did the Claims Apprentice contestants pick?
'Osmosis' and 'Actualite'
'Powergrind' and 'Intensity'
'Fortitudo' and 'Discovery'
'Insuro' and 'Blue Sea Thinkers''
June: Which lawyer doubles as an Instagram star?
Lt. Daniel Kaffee
July: Where did ULaw set its acrobatic advert?
August: What colour was the A&O partner's burqa?
September: What is Dirty Lemon designed to do?
Relax the mind, release the bowels and scrub your blood of toxins
Improve digestion, stimulate liver function and gently cleanse your system of impurities
Hydrate skin, increase elasticity and reduce wrinkles
Increase inflammation, gull the unwary and lighten the pocket
October: Which bodypart of his foes did a Slater and Gordon wish to be afflicted with disease?
November: What did the director of Henry Stowe tell RollOnFriday?
“Stop annoying me dickhead. Now put that in your rag.”
“I look forward to reading the story, I’ll wipe my ass with it”
"Why don’t you go off and investigate Prince Andrew?”
All of the above
December: Who visited Eversheds Sutherland?
Kim & Kanye
Ant & Dec
Saint Nick & Black Pete
Chase & Status
Thanks to everyone who entered. Now take a quiz with no wrong answers: the RollOnFriday Firm of the Year 2020 survey, below.