With RollOnFriday's Firm of the Year 2014 survey closing in one week (click here to put in your two cents), partners have been divulging what they really think.

At Trowers & Hamlins one partner claims the firm has a "pretty low wanker count", which has got to be good news. Although another reveals Trowers is "more bureaucratic than a French socialist government (and less efficient)". They also say the only way to get made up is to "befriend" a top equity partner. Although it's not clear whether that means just laughing at their jokes or, shudder, slipping under the satin sheets beside them.

    "On second thoughts I might just go for counsel" 

Manwhile over at Olswang partners reveal concerns about an inability to hang on to lawyers. One says the firm has a "stellar" technology practice but "seems to bleed talent" everywhere else. Another agrees the firm has become a "bit smug" and "complacent in parts".

Partners at RPC have more prosaic problems, including the "abysmal" tea and coffee and, worryingly, "pieces of ironmongery falling off the building". But a Browne Jacobsen partner has perhaps the biggest news, letting slip that one good thing about the firm is, er, "the skeleton on the third floor".

If you know where the bodies are buried, score your firm in 10 seconds flat here.
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