"Fellow students, please can you let me down now - I'm late for a board meeting."
Thanks to the eagle-eyed scout who alerted RollOnFriday to the most optimistic job ad of the week.
Avro Football Club in Oldham has posted a job on LinkedIn "for a trainee/student or experienced individual to provide key legal and regulatory support to staff in different areas in the newly-created role of Junior Solicitor / Head of Legal" on a "voluntary" basis.
Should an ambitious student/trainee be selected, it seems they would be fast-tracked quicker than Bukayo Saka sprinting down the wing, as they would be tasked with "reporting to the Operations Director...with regular contact with members of the Senior Leadership Team" and have "responsibility for a broad range of legal affairs."
A precocious student, with their highlighted copy of Chitty on Contracts to hand, would have to ensure "that the club receives timely, effective, and best-practice legal advice and support".
And such a student might not be left with much time to watch Countdown, as the job ad lists responsibilities which include: "Legal advice and support to the wider business; Assisting in the drafting, review and negotiation of Commercial and Partnership Agreements; Drafting and enforcement of Rules and Regulations and/or Terms & Conditions; Drafting policies and procedures for different areas across the business".
As for student beer money, the ad highlights that "although this position is voluntary, reasonable and agreed expenses will be paid".
Here is the job ad in full: