Dialogue

Legal community flirting in action


75% of people in the legal community would date someone else in the legal sector, a RollOnFriday survey has revealed. While only 61% of people outside of the legal community said they would be prepared to date a lawyer.

The survey followed the launch of RollOnFriday's new dating app Lawyr, which was released to joy, amazement, incredulity and some horror, all because it requires one half of any matching couple to be in the legal sector.

In the survey, legal folk who were keen to date someone else in the profession said one of the attractions would be the mutual understanding of long hours. One respondent said a fellow lawyer would "understand why you're never home." Another agreed there would be empathy for "how demanding and time consuming the job is". One lawyer pointed out that the unsociable hours meant "at least you'd know where they were, chained to the desk."

Regular beastings would mean a lawyer-lover would offer "moral support" as they'd "know the pains of the industry", while another highlighted that "misery loves company."

Money was a key factor for finding love with a lawyer, as "They can afford to buy me lunch".

A lawyer's precision in a relationship was appealing for some. They could "split the bill in equal increments after adding an uplift for seniority," said respondents, or "measure rumpy-pumpy time in six minute units," said another.

One lawyer wanted to talk shop with a lover. Another was keen to "discuss the philosophical nature of the beneficial interest, and all the things wrong with Pennington v Waine". A shared profession meant lawyers would "never run out of things to talk about", and "guaranteed an intellectually stimulating conversation". Alternatively, you'd both be similarly desperate to "have a good time to escape the tedium of law", leading to a matching desire for hedonism. Another felt a fellow lawyer would "presumably have a very high boredom threshold".

As to what lawyers thought would be the worst things about dating another lawyer, "terrible chat" cropped up many times. Some legal folk thought the partner would "totally have a one track mind - law law law law." Another thought a lawyer would want "to tell every single little detail before getting to the point". Another feared "Companies Act based small-talk." Or "discussion about GDPR being foreplay".

The temperament of a lawyer was also called into question by lawyers. "Too argumentative," or having to put up with "mooting" might be an issue. "Their chastising manner" was a turn-off. "They can barely work a photocopier, let alone handle life issues," said another about their peers.

Arrogance or a "God complex" was cited by several respondents. "Practice-area snobbery" said one, giving an example of "a commercial lawyer not taking a partner's career seriously because they are an 'ambulance chaser' i.e. a personal injury lawyer."

A "lack of time" was also a negative point for some lawyers considering a fellow lawyer. "The work and hours keeping you apart," was a concern for one lawyer. "Never seeing each other."

As for what lawyers thought they brought to the table for a civilian partner, lawyers said they were "intellectually stimulating", able to offer "free legal advice" and draft "a watertight prenup". Others highlighted the "many hours of free time" that comes with dating a lawyer, which would mean "never having to see the miserable bastard". 

"Being a legal widow to long hours," would be a downside for a non-lawyer, however. And the divorce, said another, rather bleakly. Or "the 'ick' factor' of being with someone who commences decomposing, putrefaction and generally returning unto dust many decades before death", said one lawyer with a serious  case of internalised lawyerphobia.

Happily, only a tiny minority didn't want to date a lawyer. Everyone else, download Lawyr now! 

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Comments

Anonymous 01 April 21 09:58

No thanks. What are we going to do when we get home, talk about boundary disputes?

Kat Slater 01 April 21 11:34

Who doesn’t want a significant other who is equally tired, stressed, undervalued, overworked and with career aspirations set at university by glitzy gradvertising torpedoed by the realisation that partnership is significantly less attainable than licking your own elbow.

Big finish 02 April 21 05:50

I like to shout res ipsa loquitoorrrrrrr as I climax.

I’m hoping to find a lawyer to date so that the moment can be fully appreciated and enjoyed.  

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