A US firm has taken cringeworthy to a new level by crowing like an embarrassing parent about its lawyers.

Some firms hide their light under a bushel when it comes to bigging up their lawyers. Not Riley Safer Holmes & Cancila, a firm that has gone into hyperbole overdrive when describing its legal darlings. The result it either an ego massage for its staff, or a case of "muuuum, shuddup".

Partner Joshua Lee is a litigation lawyer who, according to his bio, gives "people the impression that he can see around corners" (but clarifies this is "probably not true"). He's also feisty:

Lee pic
"Hullo. You faakin' want some?"


Lauren Jaffe's profile states that a judge gave her the nickname "alpha male", which would explain the humble bio: 

She hasn't let the accolade of being an associate go to her head 


Joy Anderson may find it hard to distinguish between hearings and family gatherings:

Joy Anderson
She'll find out which friend ordered the code red


Matthew Crowl's bio lays on the cheese as it says "sometimes being persuasive, razor-sharp and driven to find solutions just isn't enough. Matt is also an extremely nice guy." 

Even if he does say so, himself


The Verbiage award goes to Matthew Fischer. His bio states that he is "as relentless as waves pounding against a beach", thankfully just referring just to his presence in the courtroom. His profile also reveals that the partner has a "go bag" which is "always packed so he can reliably be wherever his clients need him". 

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For all the boasty profiles at Riley Safer Holmes & Cancila go here

Or to see the bonkers world of other law firms there are more crazy websites here.


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