Litigators, what's the most ridiculous case you've ever been asked to take? US site Above the Law posed the question and received lots of zany responses from attorneys. But amongst their tales of wingnuts and gold diggers were seven bona fide clients who were turned down for inexplicable reasons. Here they are in reverse order if you fancy becoming the next Erin Brockovich:

7. First up is the client who asked for representation after a traffic accident. They'd even prepared a folder of documentation. The only issue was, the documentation consisted of hundreds of newspaper clippings about Gloria Estefan and Gloria Estefan's tour bus crash. The superfan wanted to sue, well, someone, because Estefan's accident had made them "really upset". Verdict: High chance of success.

Estefan sang about stalky fans in hits "I Can See Your Smile", "Can't Stay Away From You", "Go Away" and the chilling "Coming Out Of The Dark".

6. Next up is the man who wanted to file a malpractice suit against a hospital because, during his wife’s operation, he'd seen the anaesthetist drop her oxygen mask on the floor. His wife didn't suffer any adverse consequences but he still wanted to sue because, he said, "They shouldn’t do that.". Verdict: A slam dunk, and not at all grubby.

5. Pity the attorney who decided not to act for the old lady who complained about small people breaking into her basement every night and dancing to loud music. She even knew the culprits: “They don’t have parents, they aren’t children, they’re little people - you know, leprechauns”. Verdict: Requires criminal trespass knowhow, otherwise this one runs itself.

4. In fourth place is the convict who wanted to sue because he didn't think he should have to pay child support since his children had undergone a “change in circumstances” . He explained that the change was that the children were now getting Social Security benefits, because he had murdered their mother and been sent to prison. Verdict: Not for everyone, but if you don't have a soul do get in touch.

3.  It's the case of the morbidly obese person who decided to join a gym. Unfortunately they ignored doctor's advice and started a strenuous exercise programme with a personal trainer. Which, during a session of squat thrusts, freed the thin person inside rather too quickly, in the form of a hernia, out their bellybutton. Verdict: The attorney passed on suing the gym, probably because ew - but look beyond the popped entrails and this case is watertight. Has the makings of a classic Goliath versus David victory.

"Star jump, sir?"

2. At number two it's the shoplifter charged with committing six offences at the same store, all captured on CCTV. She wanted to sue the owners for entrapment, on the basis that if they'd got off their behinds and caught her after her first offence, she wouldn't have been able to commit the next five. But the foolish attorney asked her to return with a $25k retainer and never saw her again. Verdict: Don't make the same mistake. Mortgage your home to fund this one.

1. In top place is the only case on the list to be satisfactorily resolved. A lawyer received a call from a man who wanted to sue his computer manufacturer, because his pc was spying on him whenever he and his wife had sex on the kitchen table. The lawyer consulted the precedents, conferred with counsel, rehearsed his arguments and got back to his client: "He seemed quite relieved when I told him to unplug the computer". Verdict: A waste -  this was class action material.

"You forgot about my battery, Dave"