There was a brief period during the first fortnight of lockdown when video calls were amusing.
But very quickly, within a few seconds really, the novelty of seeing colleagues in their homes on a screen wore off, and what was left was the headache-inducing strain of emoting through a monitor, and the unedifying filter unique to video calls which makes everyone look like they’re in recovery.
After months of that, the relief of meeting up in person was enormous. I think my reptile brain did a backflip when it was finally able to feed on a real person’s sensory tells.
But hold your horses, because Alex from a London-based office interiors company wants the fun to continue with a “single seat Zoom booth”.
“Are you looking to rent or buy a meeting pod?” Alex emailed RollOnFriday this week. Because he’s got “single person, focused meeting pods” that can be made “exactly as you want”.
“I’m off to the office for some quality solitary confinement time.”
You may have spent two years alone, but apparently now’s the time to go smaller and lock yourself in a repurposed passport photo booth, with glass doors so people can check you’re wearing clothes below the waist and haven’t brought in a belt or shoe laces.
In Alex’s dreams, offices are filled with his hell cabinets, each cradling a worker on an adjustable-height stool as they converse with each other free from risk and joy, with staggered entry and exit times to avoid accidental real life encounters.
Working from home? Not a problem. Alex can slot his toil coffin into a standard shower cubicle, or swap it for your fridge freezer if washing is more important to you than chilled food.
If doctors advise you to stop entombing yourself, you can erect a privacy curtain and use it as a soundproof time-out scream box instead.
Just £20 a week to rent, apparently, although the brick effect walls cost extra.