at work, do you allow yourself to let it shine through when you do not like somebody?

I always used to and thought why kiss colleague ass when I really don't want to

but you better keep your cards close to your chest innit

work life is a delicate balance between being diplomatic and not being pushed over, between assertiveness and not being overly aggro and dismissive

difficult sometimes, in my last job I also suffered bad luck with my chanty boss who loved her sycophants from my team so much she ate lunch with them individually

Depends who it is and why I don't like them.  If it's the opposition and the transaction is basically done then I give up on any pretence.

I'm openly hostile to anyone who doesn't agree with me 100% on all topics. 

In PP yes,

IRL / In house sadly that just aint possible, no



Asti why do you say it's feasible in private practice but not in house? and not IRL? in your private life why would you be overly diplomatic with someone you cannot stand?

I try to hide it as much as possible, why make the work day miserable.


It is much easier to do virtually

If I expressed my inner rage at every person at work who I think is a waste of space, time and oxygen I would just be permanently exhausted there are so many of them.

in my last team they were 2 out of 7, but they happened to be the boss darlings - not good for me

There is only one person I don't like at work, and he forced me to have a confrontation and tell him why I didn't like him, so that one is not exactly a secret.

Asti why do you say it's feasible in private practice but not in house? and not IRL? in your private life why would you be overly diplomatic with someone you cannot stand?

In PP I was a partner and IMHO a certain amount of hate between partners was expected /baked in. Its one of the reasons I got out and dont expect to go back

In house, the politics are everywhere and for a large Co , again IMHO there is just no upside to showing your actual personal side...eva

IRL lifes too short, I have a v wide family and social group. My default is polite to all and I genuinely seek to understand POVs (Mr A and I  have a v diverse group of friends) but that has limits  so when they are reached feck you if I put you in the [email protected] column.

No but nobody thinks I like them anyway since my work demeanour is so serious

It depends; 99% of the time, I'd say suck it up - it is just work, by virtue of the fact everyone is different, it isn't possible to get on with all your colleagues.  Albeit, I don't seem to have come across anyone that I don't get on with in my current role.   

But, there is one person who I truly despised earlier in my career - we just detested each other (he was a cnut), and our calls were less than civil, until I asked him what his problem was. He openly admitted having a problem with working with women, and didn't respect them in the work place, and had bullied the other women in the office to get what he wanted - which explained a lot.  Yet, no one did or said anything - but, neither did I - I just said that if we couldn't work together, I'd get his project re-allocated to someone else prepared to deal with him (they had been allocated to me because at the time I was the only internal lawyer with relevant expertise, and reallocation would have slowed down his project/revenue).  It was fine after that.  Turned out the project sucked anyway for other reasons, and he didn't make his*waves*.... wholeheartedly deserved.


He did actually. I really wanted to deal with the problem the British way, i.e. pretending everything is fine. 

I got the impression You didn’t suffer fools gladly. But I supppse that doesn’t mean that you necessarily confront them!

I think the issue with this person is that I don't like his personality (for some very good reasons).

If he had done a specific thing which was obviously way out of line I might have confronted him or asked our manager to do it. But when it's just a case of "I don't like you and wish you hadn't been hired" there doesn't seem to be much point in having a confrontation.

There's a couple of senior manager people at work who massively irritate me with their stupidity and I am fairly sure I was unable to hide my feelings from them.  This is obviously not at all wise when in-house as who knows how high they will rise and I'd prefer to work here till retirement.  Hey ho.   

I used to but never now. I very rarely give an opinion on someone unless directly asked, and that almost never happens. If someone is complaining about someone else then I just play dumb.