Winning the national lottery
RollOnFridayPingu 19 May 20 20:12
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Like, the jackpot.  >£5m ideally

Would this mkae or ruin your life?

My sister and I were discussing this last night.

I probably can't spend it on anything I'd value for the next five years plus so what's the point. 

My sister would buy a house that was miles from assholes.

I respect this.

“Guys, do you hate or like being given large sums of money?”

What's it for at this stage

I'd rather just not have to live another forty years

It would massively improve my life, but not completely alter it. To retire and be an internationally renowned dickhead I think you need £15m +. 


It certainly wouldn't ruin it. 

It would ruin my life almost certainly in the medium term. I'd quit my job and end up flitting from thing to thing not doing very much. Then gradually lose my friends as I have very little in common with them anymore and am probably an annoying arsehole now. After a while I would inevitably develop a severe drug habit just to pass the time and fill the void. 

Think how nice to die of a heroin overdose tho

And clean heroin not the junkie bum transported kind

Recently got back in touch with an ex who actually achieved a version of this after being involved with an extremely wealthy man who basically gifted her with pretty significant amounts of money. Don’t think it helped her motivation at all but hard to say it makes life worse

I know so many women who have done this

Do not remotely have the talent myself

£5m not mega huge - buy a nice house £1-2m, decent £100k a year - pension £2m - give some to friends and family - job done

In answer to chimp - I'd be in the pub every day tbh (well, in normal times).  Not sure it would be good for me

You can't go to the pub comfortably for years

So that's not a problem

What else?

I know so many women who have done this

Do not remotely have the talent myself

Seems like there are some downsides. They don’t really include having a lot of money though 

In answer to chimp - I'd be in the pub every day tbh (well, in normal times).

I’m sure with a few million you could get up to way more interesting stuff than going to the pub every day.

I'll be in the pub in August clergs, nae bother

Might not be allowed to go to the bar, and suffer the ignonimity of table service, but there you go

It's a decent house round my way plus essentially my current pay but without having to go to work for it. So no mortgage would mean slightly newer cars and better holidays but you couldn't live khuntstyle off it.

The populariser of the well-known phrase “bingo Pingu”? I think not.

Ahem. The etymology of bingo Pingu is clear. 

That said, I would rather be Sherlock than the bloke who came up with 'no shit Sherlock'.

You might, chimp, Scotland definitely won't

Sadly also I reckon there will be a surge before then on account of it being incurable

Its me who will be in the pub in August clergs, not chimp

I'll dink a glass to you

TBF Lectard it was me who attributed the purpose of the phrase, not you  (though your inspiration was major)

I meant pingu apolz

I will be leaving Scotland unforts

Forever a weird forrin

Hope I done die and remain unfound for weeks but also not sure why I hope that who cares

Thats a weird thing to hope for

Sturegoen is having a shite vuvo tho isn;t she.  Combined with oil going through the floor the chilly jockos would be mad to vote for indy now

I hope we don't need to get the lawyers involved in this Pingu. I know one who has 'done' three hearings in the last three weeks.

Do you know any good ones lectard?

I'll take the bloke with 17 bathrooms

No need to squabble over bingo Pingu guys. Let the historians sort it out.

She is but weirdly folk are lapping it up

We're the shittest bit of the UK and she's been caught in three obscene lies

And yet

The victors make history chimp


Scotland is on its arse but there's not effective oppo I suppose

I don't care if there are 17 blokes in your bathroom. I want royalties.

That's it, you'll be hearing from my en suite. Say goodbye to your lottery winnings. 

Stop trying to baffle me with your legal latin, it aint gonna wash.  Did you never hear of the Woolf reforms?

The son of mogh did great things to rehabilitate the reputation of his race, but I'm not seeing relevance here.

I’d invest the majority then spend my time running my investments.  Could certainly generate more income than I get from the day job.

£5m is in the really bollocky annoying region of not quite where u need it 

it’s not enough to retire on but it’s too much to act like nothing’s changed

basically i reckon u want less than £2m or more than about £15m

if it’s less than £2m u can basically act as if nothing’s changed but u upgrade all ur shit, continue working etc 

over £15m and u r talking something u can really use

Have you guys seen Succession? I’d recommend it, it’s very funny. There’s a conversation along exactly these lines

Five million is plenty to retire on. 
yoy could always by a business or start a business that would supplement income if you needed to - but the right mix of investments would set you for life.

even if you didn’t invest it it would last ages. When thinking about how much you need you need to remember half your income isn’t been taken as tax and a third of what’s left isn’t being taken as a mortgage payment and 20 percent of what’s left after that isn’t being saved / pur into a pension

fuck that

i’d hope to live another 60 years

on an annuity basis £5m won’t get you much more than £100k (which will be taxed) 

on a simple spend it to zero basis that’s £85k a year plus dwindling (taxed) interest which sure is ok but really isn’t living well

plus u would probably want to spend half of it on non-income producing assets (home and holiday home), so u have to divide it in two

doesnt stretch to the magnitude u might think 

Invest £5m at 5% return and you’ve got £250k a year to enjoy.  Put some of into riskier investments such as mezzanine property development lending and you’re enjoying double digit returns so can reinvest part of what you earn each year.

Delphi I think more likely that with 5m it would make a difference and my life would be more comfortable and provide more options. I would not be retiring, but would most certainly be making a lot of changes to what I do and likely some manner of career change as money would be less of a driving factor.

Five million would make mine, and my families life amazing.


none of us would have a mortgage anymore which completely changes the dynamics of working

I'm with Phoebe on this, not having a mortgage would make massive difference to members of the family. Just don't think I would be up for doing nothing for decades so there would still be other money coming in.

Worked briefly with a chap who won big on the lottery.  a year later his wife and daughter were killed in a car crash and he and another daughter travelling in a following vehicle survived.

The win isn't what you think about when you think of him.

This would make my life.  I would retire and pay off my sister’s mortgage.  Buy a top of the range vw transporter/california jobby for uk travel and rent property in warm places for 3 months at a time every year or so and invite friends and family over.  Bliss. 

Of course all but the highest wage slaves could retire on £5m. Entrepreneur types with multiple 7 figure homes couldn't but then those people don't retire anyway.

Law firm partners, at proper firms anyway, are odd fish really as they are still wage slaves but on a very high wage. I could defintely see million quid a year partners not being able to retire on £5m if they are living the life.

Parsnips expenses point is key and is what I use to work out what I could live on but I take off commuting costs as well. The resulting number is a LOT less than my current gross and I haven't even counted child costs though I suspect that money would just get diverted into other things in retirement so should still be counted.

I have previously mentioned here the fast mother from the school gate who zones in on a v high profile bnaire businessman and embarked upon an affair with him. He paid off her ex husband by buying him a £1m house and set her up with a &20k/ month allowance. He had to move offshore and she refused to join him; also his wife and kids kicked off and he realised how exPensive a divorce would be. Accordingly he set up a trust fund to cover her kids’ education (2 of the more expensive boarding schools for the not- academically gifted) and gave her a £4m budget to house hunt in one of the more obv locations. Immediately before exchange on the house he changed his mind and put it into his name not hers. Combined with this, ex husband by now had vanity published a book about it all, and he received another £1m to pull it and shit up so by this point he’s done better than her in real terms despite never having shagged a man 25 yrs his senior. 
she’s now sealed the deal by having a baby with him and naming it after him. 

point is, she really couldn’t be arsed to buy that lottery ticket.


(for judo - no she isn’t absolutely stunning  but is thin. Dreadful veneers and highlights her 10 yr old daughters hair so she can pass off as a natural blonde herself)

Phoebe - 1mil (600k on a two bed flat, 400k to live on)

Caulfield family - 1.25mil (£750k each)

Extended Caulfield Family - 2.5mil (£500k each)

Charity - £250k




Check your maths unless you have a relative with only three limbs who doesn’t get the full £750k.

dammit, I will need to keep all my money for maths tutoring

fuck me, you win 5mio and you buy a 2bed flat for 600k? have a is the point of the lotto...


2mio on house, rent existing house out

2 mio in bank / investment

1 mio to family

throw mobile phone away and quit job asap

I have no need for anything more, I don't need the second bedroom but thought I would treat myself.


I would rather all my family were financially secure than them having mortgages whilst I live in a 2 mill house by myself

My place is largely paid for and entirely adequate for my needs for some years so no point spending the cash on a house.  I'd possibly set aside £1m to buy a reasonable boat for say £300k with the rest invested to cover annual running costs.

Phoebe is admirably generous.

Or doesn't buy lottery tickets

Elffi, I am bloody lovely person 


My nephew is six, I started saving two years ago so that I could pay his university fees for him so he wouldn't have to get in masses of debt. I debt I will be able to get it for him for free by then

I’d spent a couple of mil on good time gals, booze and cars that rapidly depreciate in value.

prolly just waste the rest [/bestie]

Deece place somewhere nice in London like Angel = £2m

Place in the Algarve = £1m

Enough golf lessons to get my handicap to a respectable level = £2m

I see they’ve got a ‘set for life’ game where you can either take 10k a month for 30 years or the full whack

thats the game for me 

A £5m lottery win is the equivalent of 50 years worth of salary at £175,000.

yeah so comfortable but not exactly rolling in lucre

As I'm going to be 45 this year, that would be enough for me.  I live a pretty decent life as it is on a salary lower than that!

The other thing people go in about is inflation, but I am on the same money now as 2007 and you manage.

heh at people acting like £5m isn’t a large sum of money. If you really think that u have completely lost touch with 99.9% of the population 

“oh it’s not too bad I guess but in order to really live you need £50m minimum”

Yes it's crazy. People only think they can retire if it's on a millionnaire lifestyle level. Newsflash: most people have less money in retirement than when in work, certain boomers excepted.

For perspective, I have been slamming 2 ISAs for 13 years and have less than a tenth of that stashed.

That’s what Megain and Harry have realised

It won’t pay for a private jet. Or even Netjets more than once a year

Strangely I think I would be happier with 5M than one of the mega euro jackpots. 

  • I’d keep working but run expensive electric cars and the like to piss people off.

I wouldn’t say no to £100m but £5m would still be fvcking awesome 

I just know I would go crazy with 100m. 5M would force me to try to adopt at least a degree of moderation. 

I'm not even sure I would bother investing a hundy lion. Put a couple of mill away for the kids and keep the rest in my current account and just keep drawing it out. Be interesting to see what your spending settled down at after the initial rush.

If I won £1m you wouldn't see me for dust never mind multpile millions.