What's you firm's worst "HR initiative"

Ours is spending £15K a year on "free" fruit that no one ate.

 

We have fruit as well. It doesn't all get eaten. It's such a weird benefit especially as there's sweets and crisps available all the time and fruit isn't.

No such luxuries as fruit. Leftover sandwiches from a meeting, which go uneaten , as the best ones have all been eaten.

We get the free fruit twice a week and you’re lucky if there’s a single thing left in the basket after a couple of hours. It’s a good benefit. 

Is the fruit good or all bananas and those hideous apples?

All excellent at my place.  But you knew that already.

"Marginal gains" initiatives suggestions boards in every kitchenette area.  On which someone promptly wrote "fuck off, you cunts" with a Sharpie.

Really? I doubt they did I bet they wrote oh yes sir no sir three billable bags full sir.

They certainly did, Clergs.  Why would I make that up?  It wasn't me (honest).

Former shop used to give everyone a "free hour" once a week you could use to shorten your working day or have longer for lunch.  Get fucking real.

I quite enjoyed the 360-performance review process - just to see the juniors with no understanding of the command structure view it as a conduit to be open and honest in their assessment of the partners.  HEH.

I love our daily fruit bowls. And masses of crisps, bars, nuts, chocolate, random babybels, yogurts and pop. And the free magazines (I prefer the Grazia weeks to the New Statesman weeks though tbh). And yoga, pilates, zumba, running and body camp classes. And wine tasting evenings (*gives side eye*). I do genuinely like the perks. But then they have to make up for the actual work & general office vibe though...

I know what I think HR's worst initiative is.

 

 

Undervaluing and underpaying the role....

 

Its a self fulfilling prophecy that if you dont believe HR is valuable and therefore underpay and under resource....then it wont add value!

 

Every organisation says their people are their biggest asset, very very very few follow this mantra in their actions. LAw firms are particularly bad at this

 

It should be a very important job  and it should add enormous value 

For some reason we have free crackers and peanut butter in this office but they are hidden in the coffee cupboard. 

Iguana - those belong to me.  Stop stealing my crackers and peanut butter.

Are those crackers and peanut butter laid out close to some contraption with a metal spring ...?

Fine so long as you make the effing coffee in the morning for once!

PP going for a cervical smear of peanut butter, it seems...

360 reviews are ok if you actually want anything other than your arse kissed and to be told that you are doing everything excellently.  A lot of the time, partners forget how frustrating it is to be junior and to be given work beyond your experience with little or no supervision or support. 

I don't agree with the idea that you demonstrate  your employees are your greatest asset by having a rolls Royce HR dept

My last firm had the most patronising and pathetic one - looking for innovation ideas, they thought it was a good idea for us all to come into work and find a white firm branded baseball cap on our desks with “thinking cap” written on front of it. I still have mine as evidence of this total ass-hattery (god-awful pun intended). Dicks.

dunno about worst

but the best are the free lunches

there is always a random interesting selection in the communal fridges, homemade sandwiches and salads etc. sometimes a bit hit and miss. you have to ignore the labels