What happened on your worst date with a lawyer?

Or best - I got married to one. (We're writing a thing.)

Don't you have access to the archives from the discussion board at  Rollonfriday.com?

 

I’ve only dated one and they were all excellent tbh. 
 

she probably hated it 

Trying to save that misguided dating thing then Jamie?

i called her the wrong name 

i was married to her at the time and called her the name of the lover I had claimed I wasn’t still seeing 

oops

  • Lawyr has been a runaway success.
  • The Teclis LARPer has already had several sockpuppets up by the back legs.
  • Onwards they ride.
  • Into the night.
  • Hands propelling them ever forward.
  • Onwards, onwards.
  • Through the snow and white dog shit.
  • The walking is relentless.
  • The end destination unknown.
  • The agony unbearable.
  • Yet forward they go.

Merkz at least it was a date rather than an intimate personal encounter 

I was falsely accused of hooking their leg and then they wrote about it on the Internet 

I would download Lawyr but I can't figure out how to stop it simultaneously downloading on all my other devices (like my wife's phone and my kids' ipads).

She saw the boyfriend she had not long broken up with and when I came back from a trip to the bog her tongue was around his.

I was sure that ob’s would involve jetwashing a patio .., 

The first lawyer I dated, and roffer that I ever met, was Reg.  This year is our 8th wedding anniversary.

reg is halifax’s* nemesis

 

*may he rest in peace in that corner of syria which is forever popul7ed by a massive dullard

Reminds me of Posh Totty. Always wondered what happened to her.

The jetwashing wasn’t a date mercx, he came round for a cup of tea iirc and I was jetwashing so helped out whilst shouting loudly his thoughts on multiculturalism in my v diverse neighbourhood 

I feel like I’ve gone on some bad d8s with some lawyers, but I can’t really remember life before the one true Neville 

u were jet washing?

i thought the whole point was that he was jet washing ur back patio

I had borrowed my builders karcher and he came round and it was my task for the day so we did it together with the different attachments 

is that an extension (lol) of the innuendo?

Woah, no, legit we just jetwashed my actual back patio. 

hang on i thought it was all code and no actual jet-washing with water took place 

No code, just actual jetwashing 

all these years did you think Captain Swing and I were boffing?!?

No code, just actual jetwashing 

all these years did you think Captain Swing and I were boffing?!?

There you go Jamie. There’s your story. You can thank me with an exclusive 8 page spread for the Rof power couple series 

er, yeah. and i still do

there’s no other legitim7 explanation 4 it

Lol i forgot about the leg hooking. 
 

Orwell, Reg was one of the first Roffers I met on my second RoF drinks at the OBE. Lovely chap. 

Pre LPC but in a criminal law related policy job in my 20s , I had a date with an IP lawyer , introduced  by friends. She asked what I thought of an IP related issue and then spent the remainder of the “date” nerd-splaining how wrong I was and negging me generally.

That was it, my one date with a lawyer 

yes, dear reader, I married a medic.

There seem to many lawyer / medic marriages, my own included. Do they work out any better than the average coupling? Both understanding long hours might give an advantage in that they hardly ever see each other and when they do enjoy each other in a surprised and delighted way. Maybe I’m imagining that.

Not so much a date but our second holiday a last min mark Warner number in Turkey NR bodrum. 

We went to the resorts quiz night and got paired with a very very posh girl and her spivvy tennis coach lover.

We were being all well spoken and charming until Mrs W accidentally tried to sip from her VLS and stuck the straw right up her nostril.  She then removed it and put it in the ashtray before saying "I don't think I shall use that one" in her best telephone voice.

Literally the funniest thing I have ever seen.

And yes reader, I married her

I once took a v posh (for Belgium) Belgian law student who I fancied rotten to see Dinosaur Jr and she walked out about a quarter of the way through. I stayed to see the end of the set. I’m still not sure why I thought that was a good idea.
 

Oh I never thought for a second that OB and swing had done the deed 

why else would he be so furious with her? 

After a couple of glasses she kept on gushing on about how much she loved her boyfriend!

Heh @ preferring the company of J Mascis to a hot date. Tbf I'd have done the same.

Never been on a date with a lawyer. Met Mrs TB well before the law life. I think I dodged a bullet judging from her experience of dating and then marrying me when I was one.

FoFro: No idea tbh but think the differences can  help just as much as the similarities 

differences meant that Pre kids I could support  her when she was on call over the weekend (so never left hospital) by visiting with soup 

similarities meant that as a surgeon she was also working with egotistical nut jobs  

one thing that foshor helped we didn’t really talk about law or medicine on our first date

 

When I lived temprarily in the US I was made very welcome by the local bar association - who weren't that used to visitors.  I ended up going on a date with a local judge.  I was late 20s; she was late 40s, divorced and I was pretty stoked because she was really really hot.

We ended up at her apartment but i didn't get what I was expecting.  It turned out she wanted to bang me with her gavel.  Literally. 

I didn't stick around long enough to ask which end she wanted to use.

 

Yeah walking out on a Dinosaur Jr gig is a complete red card.

One was going quite well and she suddenly got really drunk and threw up outside Green Park tube.

 

One asked me out, went on the date, she lunged at me and snogged me, came back to mine, refused to let me fvck her, then told me the next day she did not want to see me again.

 

One got in to bed with me (which would have been assault if the sechs were reversed), we went out, but it did not end well. Which was a shame.

 

Best one was just wearing a dress and shoes and was a good friend of Alan.

My penultimate first date was with a lawyer (had my first date with my wife, who is not a lawyer, the next evening and didn't look back). She was a trainee at a magic circle firm and we went to a wine bar I quite like. She proceeded to talk all about the very important work she did as a corporate or banking trainee at great length for a while without really letting me get a word in edgeways. Then she claimed to be tired and left without offering to split the bill. Not great. 

I've had one or two other bad ones, I can't think of anything disastrous though. I had one with a Singaporean lawyer who was actually interesting and pretty. I was having a nice time until she started whacking the waiter (cocktail bar) with a menu to get his attention. That was the end of that one. 

"One was going quite well and she suddenly got really drunk and threw up outside Green Park tube."

"Blozzed a trainee in Green Park"

I didn't realise that Phoebe was a lawyer, or that she had met lamlong

Went out with the biggggggest snob ever. Commercial barrister and he would not shut up about it.. went to the cinema and it was quite dark so I couldn’t find him.. so he whistled at me as if I were a dog ! you know that dog type whistle? Ffs

I was on a pretty dull date with a non-lawyer in tedious wine bar in the City, but what vaguely enlivened my evening was eavesdropping on the next table’s conversation.

Which was also a date.  He was a trainee at an MC firm. No idea what his datee did but she didn’t look that impressed as he described  in detail his role on Project Mega Deal over the course of the evening (I.e. spent the evening trying to make his hours of being the most junior member of the team doing due diligence on one irrelevant aspect of DullCorp Inc’s banking or whatever arrangements sound like he was a complete baller).   
 

She made an excuse to leave pretty earlier, I presume he went back to the office to practice being a baller/look at ISDA documents.

I have been on dates with several lawyers but can't think of a worst first date. I mean, it's just pretty standard stuff: no spark, dull, not much in common.

One exceptionally tall lawyer did manage to fall backwards off a barstool which was mildly amusing I suppose. Stacked it onto the floor.

My best first date with a lawyer (so far) was with one who was more than willing immediately to be introduced to my friend, Alan. 

We only had that one date - turned out that she was wanting a final bender before starting a six month secondment to her firm's HK office. 

We stayed in touch but by the time she returned she was all loved up with someone that she'd met while out there!

There seem to many lawyer / medic marriages, my own included. Do they work out any better than the average coupling? 
 

I often wonder about the long suffering Mrs Chimp. How does she cope? 

I’ve been on loads of dates with lawyers. The worst ones I can remember:

- the one who quizzed me about my university results (!!) and then got genuinely miffed when he realised they were better than his (double !)

- the one who tripped over and smashed his chin wide open as we were walking from first date restaurant to bar. I felt compelled to go with him to a&e. It took a long time. It was awkward. Reader, there was not a second date. 
 

- second date - was a Sunday lunch (perhaps that was a mistake). I was getting a taxi and he asked me to pick him up en route. When I arrived I had to go and ring his doorbell and he came to the door dressed in nothing but a towel with a fully waxed chest that was in stubbly regrowth phase. He tried to get me to come in, getting colder and colder the longer we talked (it was January in london) until finally he agreed to get dressed and meet me at the restaurant. I went straight home, alone 

These really are tragic.

Why are lawyers so weird?

TC : the towel bloke was a 1st date??? Menkel-ton

Soz just re read that it was 2nd 

 

even so ....

Yeah 2nd date. So so so bizarre. What did he think was going to happen?! I would be overcome by lust by the sight of his gleaming stubbly chest and tell the taxi driver I was at my destination? 
 

(waves to said lawyer if he happens to be a roffer...)

It was early days with a young trainee and she mentioned she was taking a day off during the week for shopping or something.  I suggested I throw a sickie and come with.  She said great, why don't you come over the night before for dinner.

Clearly it was all on for our first night together.  Everything went well until she served up prawn linguini - and I have an allergy to various seafood (not deadly, just uncomfortable).  Should I ruin the night and imperil chances of a shag?  Or eat up and suffer the consequences, which would likely not manifest until after the deed was done?   

Reader, there was only ever going to be one correct answer.  Bon appetite!

She later chipped her tooth while doing the nasty (clash of heads).  Was an eventful night.      

" second date - was a Sunday lunch (perhaps that was a mistake). I was getting a taxi and he asked me to pick him up en route. When I arrived I had to go and ring his doorbell and he came to the door dressed in nothing but a towel with a fully waxed chest that was in stubbly regrowth phase. He tried to get me to come in, getting colder and colder the longer we talked (it was January in london) until finally he agreed to get dressed and meet me at the restaurant. I went straight home, alone"

 Why were you having a second date with someone you didn't want to shag?

Wait , there’s a 1st date limit on the shag /no shag decision?

 

I was potentially interesting in shagging him. But then (1) I saw his waxed chest (I don’t like them) and (2) I realised he was the sort of person who thought that was a suave? clever? move. So interest withered on the vine immediately, thus my hasty retreat. 

Bold move tbf. Only bettered by dropping the towel mid convo

Imagine going on a date with a lawyer and before you know it you've been married to Reggie for 8 years. Orwell's the clear winner here. Cough up the £100 ROF.