what are your current or former HR team like- helpful or hinderance

I find them mostly to be bone idle busy bodies, interfering with stuff they shouldn't be and ignoring stuff they should be dealing with. Oh often duplicitous as fuck.

Ours are really good. Really helpful. If you want to go on a course or something you just need to write out a form explaining why it's worthwhile for the company to pay etc and how it will benefit your role

We had nice portraits in the outlook system until hr decided they need to be more uniform 

now everybody looks pale, fat and ill tempered

other than that i can not discern any specific activities, no idea what they do all day. They could look a lot hotter if u arks me, no hotties whatsoever - fail 

They often like to roll out new initiatives and dream up strap lines, which make no sense. One of the worst I have seen was on a induction pack which said" everyday is delivery day"

They do seem to be stress free, whilst being aloof as hell.

Ours are not aloof, they are nice, I have to give that to them

but why do they all munt?

I once had a fairly urgent issue I had to discuss with them on a Friday afternoon, so I went over and asked the secretary where they were.

They're all in the wine bar, I don't know when they'll be back.

It can wait until Monday.

what chambers said. I knew of a former PA who was promoted to  group HR manager responsible for 60 or so staff. She was far from discrete, and she would discuss with other secs peoples occupational health records, and divulge details of employees ilnesses and wages. 

And she was thick ad lazy, when asking her to do something she would always reply" I will see what I can do"

Ours get cross if you don’t attend events they organize, xmas do, outing, they’ll ask „where is xyz, why could she not make it?!? Eh? Eh?“

Ours has morphed into a temping agency they spend a lot of time placing lawyers with clients on a ‘contractor’ basis. Don’t know what p n l is for this part of the business but it must be healthy

but why do they all munt?

Their appearance and level of sexual attraction in your opinion is entirely irrelevant to their ability to do their job, you piece of sexist shit. 

I am also not commenting on this thread re our HR, they monitor the site

No - if they do nothing worthwhile all day they could at least charm the people who work with goodlooks 😉

We had another one who had been told to improve the recruitment part of the website because the competitors were getting better.

So she dumped it on me. 'Ok, what do you want to say?' I ventured 'I don't know, you're the website people'

Clueless.

And they never answer their phones or return calls. " I am in meetings all day and will return your message as soon as I am available" Grrrr, this is an HR Assistant, not a global head of HR. What are they doing that warrants 7 hours of back to back meetings.

 

They are good at making work for themselves , that no one sees or cares about.

You can never get a straight answer from them. I tried to carry over 3 days of unused holiday, which is at their discretion ultimately . It was approved by my line manager, but I was needlessly interrogated as to why it wasn't taken. How about I was too busy working!

I think the biggest crime is overstating the importance of the fluffy stuff and creating cottage industries of stuff that adds no value.

No one gives a fvck if they have clear objectives or access to 3% off ikea vouchers through some labyrinthine reward website.

They want decent tea and coffee in the canteen and as much money as you can afford to pay them. 

Precisley Zero, and NEVER EVER tell them anything in confidence, they just cannot help themselves.

Why would I tell them something in confidence? Are they on my side?

DD, they can be very sneaky you know. Of course there on your side, silly. Have you not heard them say" we are here to support you and do all we can for you!"

Actually they didn’t and if they did I would not believe them

I quite like ours but it's the first firm where I have. They generally do whatever I need without any fuss and have been hugely supportive of me through some very unpleasant personal situations over the past couple of years.