a weird medical q

I have a dent on my forehead

it just appeared overnight

right in the centre, about the size of a 2p

I can feel it as a slight dent and it is visible in the mirror

I thought I might have slept on something funny but it is still there

is my skull breaking down???

I should maybe go to a dr but I feel weird saying "doctor there is a dent on my forehead"

An angel come down and tried to skull fuck you.

It'll probably be deeper tomorrow morning after he goes back and tells all his friends.

do you have a sleep-walk alter ego where you identify as a married indian lady?

although now u mention maybe an indian head massage would help

The dent is to hold the dot flush, which you cunningly sleep-remove.

As I suspected,  you are in fact a wonderful unicorn but naughty poachers removed your horn during the night for bad magic.

the idea of being a magical creature is both ace and terrifying

It's because of the vaccuum in your brain.

(Sorry couldn't resist)

Quite an advanced symptom of the bad aids i’m afraid.

If you have anything significant to say to anyone then say it soon.

Perhaps you're growing a third eye.

They have to make the hole first (or should that be the whole?)

it IS right where my third eye would be

is this a sign

am I doing the iChing too much?

You haven't been asking for a council house, have you?

perhaps someone trepanned you in the night to let the bad spirits out?

Re skull fuck, iirc it originates from the drill sgt in full metal jacket.  The full phrase being something along the lines of private pile I am going to rip your eyes out of your head and skull fuck you boy

All ad libbed i think that scene.

Texas, only steers and queers come from texas and i dont see no horns on you

chimp! I am so glad you are here. should I go to the doctor?? it doesn't hurt but it is definitely a deformation!

I think this is punishment for me mocking someone for shagging his unattractive secretary (one of my less feminist moments).

maybe being old inevitably just entails a terrible face

I'm afraid you are going soft in the head. One of the early symptoms is climate change skepticism/denial.

Wang, that second quote is from An Officer and a Gentleman. Think the drill sergeant in that was nominated for an Oscar ? He may have won? Anyway, he stole that movie.

honestly I am disappointed chimp did not diagnose me

Have you been playing cricket?  Or any other games which involve balls flying towards your face?

So sorry for the delay in replying Clergham. I don't know what the problem is to be perfectly honest. Hard to say without seeing it myself. My differential is:

A) absolutely nothing

B) brain worms trying to make their way out

In all seriousness, if you are worried then of course consult with your GP. Off-hand though it's hard for me to think of a serious diagnosis that presents like this.

On the topic of brain worms, look up "neurocystercicosis". Some amazing radiology.

I massaged it and it seems to have gone away

I fear my forehead muscles are getting old

In the course of my research I also learned never to put my feet on the dashboard while travelling in a car

 

Yeah I have a friend in the pathology biz and I'm not sure how he ever goes out

Good to hear Clergs

Can you diagnose me please Dr Chimp?

I have had laryngitis for 2.5 weeks now, caused by some lurgy and had a bad cough, both of which have now gone, but voice is still cracked and hoarse and not getting better or worse. It makes shouting at the kids really difficult.

Unless I make urgent on the day appointment with GP I will have to wait weeks.

Bad AIDS or cancer?

Heh! Persistent hoarse voice needs GP review +/- onward referral depending on the findings on history and physical examination. In rare cases this CAN be a presenting symptom of malignancy (laryngeal nerve compression) but given the onset of symptoms following an upper respiratory tract infection this seems less likely in your case. I would make the GP appointment - if it's still persisting by the time you see them this will give them more to go on.

oh I see so my head dent gets a facetious answer and QE gets a proper thing!!! 

(I will feel bad if QE does have bad aids)

NB not a GP, emergency doctor - I'm afraid just as in my day-to-day practice my advice for patients who are not immediately dying will default to "see your GP"

I wonder how fluffy's eye turned out, that sounded proper

Thanks Chimp, I know I should go....just not had much luck with ENT health lately and it would be just my luck to get larynx AIDS too

 

Good luck Queenie, the odds are you'll be completely fine.

I got pushed into a blackberry bush yesterday and scratched the fuck out of my arms and legs and head.  Should i put savlon on?  Think i have gouged out most of the thorns.  

Probably just use your judgement on that one old son.