Ways - a Christmas dilemma

I am going with some school friends to a country house next weekend.

One of the attendees is driving and has an incredibly cavalier attitude to drink driving. She has told us her plan is to drink two bottles and a gin, then she needs to drive back at 9 the next day. There is zero pc chance she will be safe either legally or literally.

I've told her she won't be and she scoffed at me, an actual scoff sound.

Everyone else agrees with me but probably only one will say to her face. Another has said we can anonymously tip off the police if she does.

I am thinking maybe hide her car key in advance so she thinks she's lost it and has to wait for a tow?

She is generally lovely this is a bizarre blind spot 

I’d tell her to fuck off, book myself a car to collect me the next morning and call plod as you set off.  Take the rest of her mates with you in your hired car.  She is putting all your lives and the lives of other road users at risk and this is totally unacceptable.

If I drank two bottles of wine I would not drive the next day at all. Nine am is madness she will still be drunk. 
unclear if plan is you are going with her but obvs do not do this 

2 bottles of wine and a gin seems a bizarrely overly planned drinking bout which is in itself odd

the word from  pilot friend is that in reality even if you are seriously pissed your body will lose the alcohol in 10 hours (the unit per hour thing is simply not true).  So as long as she spreads her sinking through the day and stops by 11pm she will probably be ok - no guarantees of course mind

Perhaps suggest she gets one of those self breathalyser things to be on the safe side - or get one for her - I use them when I have any hint of concern driving the next day

She is a bloody adult, if she, by now, does not realise that she is still pissed the morning after a boozy night she needs her fvcking car taken away from her.

Wot Guy sed about weird overplanning of drink intake.

Does she drink a lot usually?

Definitely don't do wot Royal Flush sed or interfere with her vehicle in any way - if it all comes to a head you don't want the deflated tyre she missed as she drives off in a huff being the main cause of her or someone else's death.

If you as a group genuinely think she's over the limit the next morning then take her keys off her / box her car in with other vehicles. Be sure the whole rest of the group / at least those who are up are fully on board with this before you do it so she is presented with a united front. Don't fvck about with deflating her tyres etc though. Alternatively just book her a Scooterman to drive her home.


Sorry - I may have misread but assumed from the OP wording this woman was driving only herself. Is that right or is she supposed to be driving others, Clergs?


She has told us her plan is to drink two bottles and a gin,

Bottles of what - tonic?

2 bottles of what? Wine? Borderline. Better stuck with one and a couple of G&Ts. Tucked up @ midnight. She'll be fine.

And whatever else she and the rest of you do or don't do, remember to steal a police constable's hat!

So Clergs' friend wipes out and kills 8 other people (including 3 really cute and lovely middle class kids aged, say, 3, 7 and 12) and Clergs and her mates could have avoided that by just boxing in the friend's car the next morning or taking her keys away then heading back for breakfast.

Really, clubbers and Mr H?

FAOD I'm not in the Teclis camp of advising actively reporting friends to the police if it's a grey area like this would be the morning after some drinks.

Wouldn't want to be on a lifeboat with Tec. Or a weekend away. Or a 'friends' list.

Guys this assumption that somebody is definitely going to be unfit to drive after two bottles of wine previous day is just not right.  It is possible she will be over the limit but if she stops at a reasonable time  the day before she very likely would not be

Hence my query about her booze consumption frequency.

Alcohol Dehydrogenase is not just a punk band.

Your friend is an alcoholic. That’s obvious to you, us and everyone but her (and Guy. But he is one too so wevs). 

You won’t stop a drunk drinking by logic or threats. That’s just not how it works. Choices here are these:

1. Absent self. 

2. try control it (won’t work. Esp after you’ve had a few - as you will)

3. Give her a way better option.

sensibly, choice is no.1. 

Whether or not one would be over the limit after two bottles and one gin (agreed weirdly specific amount of booze) on the rare occasion I drink anywhere near that much I feel like death next morning, and about as capable of driving as if I had the flu. Madness to do this. 

thuggy drinking 2 bottles of wine on a big weekend away with friends does not make you an alcoholic wtf?

Guy m4. You’ve been off yer tits all week. Pretty obv from your posting. I’m not judging m4. But quit pretending bro. 

This is Scotland, she will DEFINITELY be over the limit until the afternoon/evening at least.

She isn't an alcoholic. She's a martyr mummy who hardly ever drinks and insists on having to do everything. She's coming to this thing from a fucking lunch with santa in a shitty provincial town. 

Then she has EXTREME ORGANISED FUN then back to have a crying fit because her partner didn't clean up sufficiently while she was gone.

I am thinking I might have to just not go but it's annoying as I have paid £100 (it was stupid of me to do this).

"Then she has EXTREME ORGANISED FUN then back to have a crying fit because her partner didn't clean up sufficiently while she was gone."


this sounds awful. I feel for women who can't unclench 

Yeah someone who drinks twice a year is not an alcoholic. 

Exactly that, hoolz. She has no sense of self it's all fucking tea parties with a chav in a rabbit costume.

Can you take her from the event to a spa for the afternoon?

Part of the drama is that she has a free afternoon tea that she has asked if I'd like to go with her to prior to the dinner (she got the voucher for making complaints last time she was there - why are we going back??anyway). So if I go to that I will be getting a lift up with her and it would make it more complex to work out a non mugoff route back.

I have repeatedly suggested we all get the fucking train but NO.

There is a spa also.

Maybe I should just go and pretend to be going elsewhere on the way home and secretly get the train.

2 bottles of gin, she will be far from fine, she will be hammered , don't get in the car with her or what Tec said. 

Just think of when you have had a few pints, and a bottle of wine, and a shot or two, the next day you want o stay on the setee all day, the idea of one driving, at least for me would never happen, especialy If I had 2 bottles of gin.

Setee, chinese, phone on silent, netflix , job done

2 bottles of gin?  Don’t think anyone is suggesting that - never mind driving she would be in hospital 

I was once the designated driver. So I planned my drinking v carefully.  One bottle of vodka (70cl, not a litre that would be silly), absolut lemon from memory. Reckoned if I went out hard and stopped drinking  early I’d be okay the next day.


anyway... it was a very foolish plan.  Never done that again. Maybe your friend will learn her lesson too?


Assuming we are taking about wine, here is a fact.  It takes hour body 9 hours to be completely out of your system.  To be under the drink drive limit it’s closer to 6 hours.

It takes a spirit such as gin an additional two hours.  So we are up to 7 hours before hand, so that’s like 2am.

So far so groovy.  Add in that extra bottle and she will need to have completely stopped drinking at approx 8pm the night before.  She will still potentially be a bit drunk but she might pass a breathalyser at that point.

Do you think she will stop drinking before 8pm clergs?

Telcos that 1 hour a unit is the official line but is simply not true- I guess no harm in believing it mind 

If you paid attention you would notice I was saying an hour a unit.  Which is supposed to begin an hour after you finish your first unit btw.

If I had it would be um... like 24 hours to fully leave her system.

Even if it were true you measure from when you start drinking not when you finish 

It takes about 11 hours for one bottle of wine

The drink drive limit in Scotland is less than one glass of wine

Well depends on a lot of things - metabolism, strength of wine (is it el plonko grande at 9% or is it 12.5% decent stuff?), size, sex, weight etc.

Are you seriously suggesting that you, a slip of a girl would metabolise alcohol at the same rate as me? A six foot two broad shouldered monster of a hardened drinker (I put that bit in for Wang).

Oh stop tedeing about minutae. The point is at 9am her driving ability will be significantly impaired and it's stupid of her 

I’ve sacked off these “duty” weekends these days.  It’s quite empowering.  Much easier just to say no in the first place and spend your time on other fun stuff.

I have no tolerance for drunk driving or speeding


i do not get offered lifts anymore

This is Scotland, she will DEFINITELY be over the limit

I think such stereotyping is frowned upon these days Clergs

If one is drinking, just get a cab, car, or train, simple

I’d high five the friend for being a total legend and a Zulu warrior 

then jump in the car and encourage her to do a wheel spin when leaving to impress your wider circle of friends or any girls who are about

I still think my plan is the best one - buy a breathalyser test  ask her to take it (let everyone else take it to -make it light hearted - most people are interested in knowing how much alcohol they have the day after the night before even if not driving)  if she fails hard for her to justify driving.

I *heart* breathalyser parties.

Tip - suck on some coppers before you take it.*

*I meant 1 and 2 penny coins but tbf it probably works either way 

you've said your piece

not sure you're under any obligation to do more

I've seen a video where a lady got off a speeding rap by sucking a couple of coppers

Weirdly I'm less likely to feel sleepy driving if I've had a big night than if I've had a sober night and just not slept very well. 

my rule of thumb - if I have a hangover I assume I am over the limit, if I feel fine (not still drunk fine - but normal), I am pretty confident I am fine to drive.

"I’d high five the friend for being a total legend and a Zulu warrior"


It isn’t clear whether you are bothered about yourself getting in the car home with her for you own safety or are you worried about her driving off and maybe being under the influence and a risk to others?

The comments on what is or what is not a lot to drink in one night aren’t relevant here, since the question is really what can Ram’s mate put away to be legally able to drive next morning. Ram - 11 hours is wrong, but it’s a good idea to tell your friend that. It isn’t as simple as adding up units and multiplying them by hours passed. Guy has it if you’re looking for the right answer and the breathalyser is a good idea.

I would take my own car unless your planning on being blitzoed too?

Clergs can’t drive so she’s a bit beholden if she accepts a lift.

Personally I’m coming around to the idea of having a conveniently timed “heavy cold” and not wanting to get involved.  That way it isn’t your problem and you won’t feel angst if she does plough through a group of small children, killing them all, just because she felt fine after two bottles of wine and a gin the night before.

Caveat: I have absolutely no tolerance for any kind of drink driving whatsoever and even when I was able to drive I wouldn’t without letting 24 hours pass by between me and my last drink.

My first wife’s cousin was a GP and she thought she was fine, was driving to work one morning and thankfully got nicked, twice over the limit.  I think that was about two bottles as well actually.

Teclis, fully understand and respect your point of view as to what you consider acceptable for yourself but it would I think be grossly unfair to impose a higher standard on Clergs mate than the law does.  If you wifes cousin was double the limit the next day she must have started late and was drinking into the early hours or had more than 2 bottles of wine.

I get drink driving is dangerous and there are reasons that caution is advisable and government guidance is what it is, but my stronger impulse is to point out bullshit, even if is is spread from the best of intentions.