Urgent. RoF help pls

An emergency has arisen. Mrs K has a pair of tickets to see Michael Buble. Despite my gentle hints that she should take a friend and really enjoy a girls night out, she is very keen and insistent that I go with her. I have nearly ran out of time to have a credible alibi.

Now, like all middle-aged cis men I would rather chug a pint of bin-juice than undertake such a painful and tortuous experience. 

Creative solutions please. Hit me up. 

Forget to arrange babysitter

Urgent trip to ailing parent

Work do (boss over from US or somesuch)

Kid has 'rona or nasty stomach bug so can't really leave them with sitter and you know how she likes Buble so let her go

Migraine

Honesty and please can she go with a friend and you'll make up by taking her to fancy restaurant

And also have a word with her..... she should know better than put you through this torture ffs. Unless it was your mother's day gift to her, then you're screwed.

Just pull a sicky no?  Either that or hang around the local primary school (as I hear you are wont to do) and try and get your kids infected with whatever is the vomiting bug/virus du jour.

suck it up

and bank having been such a supportive husband for the next time you want to do something she doesn’t fancy (except obvs be magnanimous and go with your m8s instead) 

Is there a neighbour who can drive past and give you a gentle nudge with their car requiring you to be taken to A&E whilst protesting she mustn't miss out on her night out?

Do you know nothing about being married?

Turn up, bank the points, spend them on something you like.  If you don’t go, you’ll only be indebted to her and have to take her to something else, and get shit for it “Like that time you were ill for Michael Buble”.

Suck it up sunshine.

reminds me of the time my mum wanted to see Cliff Richard (I know).  My dad said "maybe you should call your sister, she like him - you can go together).

My mum took that as "double date", so booked 4 tickets (for her, my dad, my aunt and uncle).

My dad and uncle went to concert venue with my mum and aunt, and sold their two tickets to a tout in the car park and went to the pub.

 

Be more like my dad.

In my defence you were being a sanctimonious killjoy at the time. 

Still, I see you are a formidable adversary given my resulting fate. I will tread more carefully in future. 

Some good ideas here. I’m liking the minor A&E option. PP’s advice, whilst potentially addressing the immediate crisis, would in reality just substitute one problem with another, more tricky one. 

Sucking it up looking inevitable. FFS.

getting pilled off your face is a great idea. 

in the middle of the crowd, gurning away and pulling out all your best rave moves. periodically hugging the people next to you.

Massive heh for PP's 15.55

 

What I would say:  if you think I'm going to Micael Buble or whatever it is you're in cloud cuckoo land.  I'm really happy for you to go, do enjoy it.  

 

I'm not recommending that approach, to be clear.

i went to one of these some time ago.  before even the first of my children was born.

 

he was very entertaining.

 

first song.

then he does some chit chat

"hands up all the gentlemen"

...

"don't worry I know why you're here.  Ladies you'd better make it worth their while when you get home"