Undresser or Undressee

Chaps seem reticent to undress me, I might start taking it personally soon, it is much less sexy to have to take your own clothes off

*slaps dux across face with glove and invites his second to call upon my second*

You’re going to give him lessons in how to do the sex.  I get told off for ripping clothes when removing them but I think she secretly likes it.

Has this always been the case or is more prevalent since #MeToo ?

Having your clothes taken off by someone else may be sexy but from a practical point of view you taking them off avoids embarrassing fumbling with zips and the like.

Or just like, don’t be a spaz at removing someone else’s clothes ffs.

Is it because you don't know the difference between reticence and reluctance?

Peter, I think you have hit the nail on the head.

Language tedes are what girls want in the bedroom

I’d have thought oral facility would have been more popular, but there you go

I'm sure, Feebs.

It's the same for me. That sort of solecism would leave you having to make your own arrangements to finish off.

Absolute passion-killer.

For future reference.

You want someone to undress you?! wtf? This sounds like the least unsexy thing. "Erm, how does this undo?" "Can you lift your left foot up, please?"

 

Can you lift your left foot up, please?"

Most people don't wear a suit of armour to bed tbf

it sort of depends. if you're upright and snogging / whatever and your getting hints that clothes ought to be rude then you probably ought to get on with it.

 

if on the other hand you're already horizontal / naked / whatever, then it seems otiose.

 

plus if it's a shared flat and you're in a shared area, then you might worry about the flat mate waking up first the next morning and neatly folding up all the clothes and leaving them in two piles for you to find when you realise you've woken up in a strange bed, in the wrong part of town and you've removed your contact lenses

 

I reckon dusty does it thru one of those ancient arameic sheets with a hole

ps HEH at taking your clothes off when naked being "otiose".  you gargantuan plonkbottom

In fairness if you will go wearing 7 pettie coats, a whale bone corset, bustle and bonnet then what you're asking for is not so much an undressing as a seige 

No wonder henners the XIII didnt sire more sons.

 

Dusty in doing things primly and properly non-shocka

Oh ffs, it was a JOKE. YOU DO NOT KNOW ME IRL, Dux, stop pretending to assume you know what I think, my political opinions or how I undress when I am about to get Mr D into bed. Just c0ck off.

I reckon dusty does it thru one of those ancient arameic sheets with a hole

You assume what you want, Wangers. Mr D has no complaints :p

Am now imagining  there is a feedback form on the bedside table like a B&B

This is certainly an insight into your fantasy life, Wangers.

who puts a table by the bed? a cabinet maybe but a table?

freaks

You think that imagining is bad, this is what sail’s posts made me imagine.... Awkward middle class English sex.  :(

 

So, ok let’s see, ah yes if you could just lift your arm up...

Yes it’s a clip on that one...

Oh sorry I was assuming it was a zip

Oh no, it’s ok, I should be sorry, allow me.

Ah that’s got it, jolly good now I’m ok I am going to kiss you a bit whilst I just steer you to port slightly...

Oh ok is this another zip?

No it’s...

Oh right excellent! buttons! Yes I’ve worked with these before I think, yes aha that’s the badger, now I’ll just fold it up and pop it on this chair....

Oh don’t worry just drop it it’s fine....

Oh right, splendid ok and now.. ahh ok... these are suspenders aren’t they.  I’ve seen them before but I’m exactly how do I....

Oh just this clip here and ... oh great yes you’ve got it.

when you realise you've woken up in a strange bed, in the wrong part of town and you've removed your contact lenses

 

lol

"who puts a table by the bed"

errrrm, pretty much everyone

 

plus if it's a shared flat and you're in a shared area, then you might worry about the flat mate waking up first the next morning and neatly folding up all the clothes and leaving them in two piles for you to find when you realise you've woken up in a strange bed, in the wrong part of town and you've removed your contact lenses

 

hehehe

Clubbers you're lucky you didn't encounter any of my house mates at uni as rather than folding your clothes neatly if they found them in a shared area they'd just hide them.

"Can you lift your left foot up, please?"

This reads like a script of Paul McCartney doing Heather Mills.

We lay there on the grassy bank

My hands were all a quiver

I slowly undid your suspender belt

And your leg slid into the river

Ode to Heather Mills, Sir Paul McCartney (c)

Maybe men undoing the zip down the back of my dress, and touching my spine is my ASMR thing

Tec I'm a sailor so expect everything to be some combination of velcro, zip or both.

I'm with Phoebe all the way here.  [No not like that. What are you? Ten?]

Removing the other's clothes is an essential stage of foreplay.

Such a delight - to explore. Such appreciation - to be desired to be explored.

In particular, one has the opportunity to test your sensitivity to the other's reactions. 'THAT' means you are going too fast. 'THIS' means that you are welcome. How else to learn those signals?

And removing the other's clothes remains an essential stage. After years of intimate relationship, a sensitive undressing of the other always revels what he/she might be in the mood for tonight (or morning, or afternoon, or early evening).  Each encounter is different. To assume otherwise is to disrespect.

I read “such a delight” in the creepiest old posh man voice in my head.

Horrifying.

Stick with Aussie foreplay mate.

”Spread yer legs sheelah I’m coming in”.

Creepy as fuck the whole thing. Making my bollocks shiver.

You would find someone undressing you "creepy as fuck"?

srsly?

I am of the hope that he was specifically referring to elphi’s post though i may be wrong.

Slowly, and indeed sometimes not so slowly, undressing each other works for us.

The fervoured kiss as each button is undone.  A hot hand slid beneath a loosened fold. A squeeze and hug. A lick of now naked flesh.  What’s not to like?

 

Yeah so I’ll be doing this tomorrow and frankly she probably will go without underwear seeing as apparently I cost too much.  

And no it won’t be creepy salacious shit, it’ll just be “right we have about three hours, you woman, rawr” levels of ripping clothes off.

And to think I used to provoke multi tun threads of indignation for stating quite factually I'd had a shag. Christ. 

Re the op I actually have pretty much total blind spot re how I become naked! Can't remember a single occasion. Going to pay attention next time. 

I am self conscious about putting my bra back on tho as pretty sure I do it weirdly.

you aren't one of those people that does it up at the round that shifts it round are you?

The thing is Linda, your comments weren't so toe curlingly cringey that everyone skipped straight past them.  They were just a bit, well, smug and we all read them.  So we took the piss.

This is a whole different kettle of fish and we all just try not to look and then rush out for mind bleach if we accidentally read some of it.

oh Clergs, you do do it weirdly

 

 

 

 

 

but I still love you

There was this big thing on Buzzfeed a year or two ago, and it turns out that women are about 50-50 on which way they do it.  So I am with Phoebe and think you're a wrong'un, but you've probably got lots of company :)

On the odd occasion I get any they do tend to undress me. I don't reciprocate much unless there's a shirt involved. A whispered "Take. It. Off" usually does the trick though. It's just not really that hot helping a dude out of his jeans.

‘it won’t be creepy salacious shit’

so it won’t be anything like you’ve described it?

...meh you and I could never have hot romantic sex, soz

I get what clergs means about blind spots about getting naked. Taking your own clothes off in the heat of passion is a bit odd though.  Guess it's mostly autopilot when you're getting down to it.

Meh- I'm sure you could make taking jeans off more fun if you tried 

No. I really couldn't. It's all fumbling and feet pulling through things and not very dignified. I find men are usually more than happy to strip off so problem solved and all that.

Pheebs you aren't a dude so no, it's not likely to happen, hot, romantic or otherwise.

*apologetic face*

Clergs - yeah she gets mad at me for damaging/stealing her underwear 

but meh, if you do not undress the gentlemen you do not get the first enjoyment of the boingy lever

First enjoyment?!?

Feebs - who else do you normally have accompany you for these activities that would get to have a go on the boingy lever before you?

Surely you just tell your lady in waiting to remove his garments, but to leave the boingy lever alone? 

Read Elf’s prose in a Kenneth Williams voice.

You stand a good chance of being arrested.

Actually, on reflection.  It’s Walder Frey’s voice that I’m hearing when I read elfi’s stuff on this thread.

 

Skinny jeans are impossible to remove for someone else in a sexy manner. Standing up tugging with both hands will never be sexy.

I could find a man who needs to tug with two hands pretty sexy

I could find a man who needs to tug with two hands pretty sexy

What would I use to hold the magnifying glass if I was only doing it with one hand? 

Raised eyebrows all over this thread. 

Men - avoid skinny jeans (stop skipping leg day), get involved. Undressing a woman is ace.

*scans thread*

*makes a few comments in the special notebook*

*underlines one in particular and writes next to it ‘DO NOT FORGET’*

He doubtless means pheobes zip thing. 

 

Cringe 

Well that one was obviously right up there, but  to be honest I was thinking more of the zip thing