So what is your strategy Haddock? Do you delay your visits to the loo until after the senior partner has had a dump - or do you time it so that you go at the same time as him / her? I need to know ...
You telling me if you went into the gents with the senior partner at the same time to take a sh1t, entered separate cubicles to offload a log, it wouldn't be awkward?
IG it depends on the sort of relationship with the senior partner I suppose. Haddock's career prospects might be greatly enhanced by a convivial dump. One can only speculate.
We only have two toilets per floor so the ladies is right next to the mens and I have a slight fear of coming out having had explosive flatulence to find an attractive female colleague coming out of the ladies.
my m7 dave was washimg his hands after a Jimmy when the global mp entered and began engaging him in work discourse. the MP went into a trap and dave was forced to continue the conversation about billing targets and recoveries and leverage ratio whilst listening to the alimentary choir deliver a fine rendition of the 1812 overture, complete with cannon fire a la rusty badge
The recent vote on whether to offer Haddock partnership produced a stalemate. Under the partnership deed, I am called upon to cast the decisive vote.
I am aware of a considerable divergence of views about Haddock within the partnership. His proponents point to his solid though unspectacular contribution to profits; his detractors say that he lacks charisma. I have even heard one such detractor say of Haddock "you can't polish a turd". Such a vulgar expression when discussing a candidate for partnership does the speaker no credit.
For my part, I have always found Haddock to be regular sort of chap. He might lack "sparkle" but I think that flamboyance sits ill with tax lawyers. And of course he was in the right place at the right time to save my life by making a timely call to the emergency services.
So Haddock it's a yes from me. Same time tomorrow morning.
I used to work at A&O, where a disgruntled employee had shit in the bathroom soap dispensers at the Belfast service centre. I think someone even left a shit in the fridge. Good times.
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maybe get some CBT so that you are able to poo without fear in the future m7?
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I really don't understand people who get upotight aout pooing in the office.
"Time them strategically" what?
Here's what I do if I need a poo in the office: I go to the toilet and have a poo.
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Laz, when a man has to poo, a man has to poo (done in John Wayne voice).
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So what is your strategy Haddock? Do you delay your visits to the loo until after the senior partner has had a dump - or do you time it so that you go at the same time as him / her? I need to know ...
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You telling me if you went into the gents with the senior partner at the same time to take a sh1t, entered separate cubicles to offload a log, it wouldn't be awkward?
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IG it depends on the sort of relationship with the senior partner I suppose. Haddock's career prospects might be greatly enhanced by a convivial dump. One can only speculate.
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Even if the relationship is good, I can't see it could ever be that good, that shitting together becomes a joyous occasion ffs.
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u have never played battleshits?
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Heh - can't say I have. You?
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I mean I wouldn’t avoid pooing at work but the (potential) communal aspect of it is less enjoyable
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u people are fucking weird
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If you guys aren’t going to the shitter on the client floor (with the fluffy soap and hand cream) you’re doing it wrong.
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Haddock emerges from the cubicle after a particularly explosive evacuation to find the senior partner at the basins.
"Bad pint?"
"To be honest, I think it was the kebab after the pint that did for me."
"I always found the mid week kebab to be a mistake. Still you live and learn Young Haddock".
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heh
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We only have two toilets per floor so the ladies is right next to the mens and I have a slight fear of coming out having had explosive flatulence to find an attractive female colleague coming out of the ladies.
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You have to wait until the senior partner goes to the bogs before you can have a good shit. It’s the only time his desk is free.
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Goose’s bravery in an open plan office knows no bounds....
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Oi Sumo!
just imagine sharing this thread with German colleagues
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Haddock is sanitizing his hands when the Senior Partner emerges from a cubicle, red faced and perspiring heavily. He lumbers over to the basins.
"F@*k that was bad".
Haddock makes a suitably sympathetic noise.
"Did you know that Evelyn Waugh died of a heart attack whilst having a shit, Haddock? ..... AAAGH! Call an ambulance!"
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my m7 dave was washimg his hands after a Jimmy when the global mp entered and began engaging him in work discourse. the MP went into a trap and dave was forced to continue the conversation about billing targets and recoveries and leverage ratio whilst listening to the alimentary choir deliver a fine rendition of the 1812 overture, complete with cannon fire a la rusty badge
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heh
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TO:- ALL PARTNERS
FROM:- SP
The recent vote on whether to offer Haddock partnership produced a stalemate. Under the partnership deed, I am called upon to cast the decisive vote.
I am aware of a considerable divergence of views about Haddock within the partnership. His proponents point to his solid though unspectacular contribution to profits; his detractors say that he lacks charisma. I have even heard one such detractor say of Haddock "you can't polish a turd". Such a vulgar expression when discussing a candidate for partnership does the speaker no credit.
For my part, I have always found Haddock to be regular sort of chap. He might lack "sparkle" but I think that flamboyance sits ill with tax lawyers. And of course he was in the right place at the right time to save my life by making a timely call to the emergency services.
So Haddock it's a yes from me. Same time tomorrow morning.
SP
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I can only do number 2s in my own flat, at Carter Castle or if desperate in public 5 star hotels. Otherwise I get constipated.
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I used to work at A&O, where a disgruntled employee had shit in the bathroom soap dispensers at the Belfast service centre. I think someone even left a shit in the fridge. Good times.
https://www.rollonfriday.com/news-content/exclusive-disgruntled-ao-employee-makes-dirty-protest-work
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I apologise to Haddock for taking his name in vain and to all male roffers for pretending to know what goes on in the male lavs.
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Of course we also had the hammonds phantom pisser:
https://www.rollonfriday.com/news-content/hammonds-shoe-fetish-urination-horror
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That deserves a heh Gwen.
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Thank you Haddock. I got quite carried away by it. It must be the hot weather.
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