There’s nothing worse than (rof edition)

1. Laminate flooring

2. An explosion in a soup factory sending '000 gallons of your favourite soup cascading down the hill and all you can find is a fork.

Having your bollocks wired to the mains while being beaten with barbed wire. Unless you're one of the defendants in R v Brown obvs 

Birds who wander around all day unaware that they stink because they haven’t bothered to clean themselves in the morning.

Birds who wander around all day unaware that they stink because they haven’t bothered to clean themselves in the morning.

Those blasted pigeons.

Commercial people who think they can have a bash at drafting legal documents and then get huffy when you tell them that what they have done is complete nonsense and it will be quicker for you to start again from scratch than fix what they have done.

As above, but when they sign the document without even telling you and then come to you a year later when something has gone wrong and expect you to sort it out.

As above, but when they do it in their second language (your first language), which they think they are fluent in.

An AGA? Thank fuck no. We have a Neff 1980s ceramic hob here. Nightmare to cook on, but still preferable to an AAARGGHAAAH.

British chocolate

If you mean Cadburys then you are correct. Otherwise, there are some excellent British chocolate brands.

Lady P - laddish 90s "comedian", long since missing from TV, making a comeback by becoming an online Jim Davidson.

Bentines - there is a regional theatre not from where I live where they have had to add a SECOND night for Jim Davidson. I sh1t you not. Me and Mr D may protest outside (we won't...but we'd like to).

I'd forgotten all about Lee Hurst. he used to be quite a decent regular on They Think It's All Over. That Twitter feed is certainly up there.

For me however, there's nothing worse than a social justice warrior on a twitter rant.